Facebook-delisting, changing status

[GeoCam]

I think all of this just strikes a nerve for me because it is the nub of my greatest fear and uncertainty as a parent. I am a single mom and I adopted my girls, so there is no dad in the picture - I have to make all the decisions. Within the next few months the girls will be 12 and 14, and the issues we deal with are rapidly becoming more frequent and less clear-cut.

The "let them make their own mistakes" school of thought sounds great to me in theory and that is what I have pretty much done with them so far, but it is now starting to terrify me. It seems that the world is more dangerous now and that kids are exposed to more things at a much younger age. I have done my best to teach and prepare them, but it gets harder and harder to sit back and let them make their own mistakes as the consequences of bad decisions become more serious.

I know from my own experience that knowing right from wrong is not always enough. I was not a dumb kid - I was valedictorian of my high school class - but I did incredibly stupid things. I engaged in lots of potentially lethal behavior, almost on a daily basis. It was the 70's - sex, drugs, and rock & roll, with a whole lot of alcohol as well. I often think about how lucky I am that nothing really bad happened and marvel that my peers and I even managed to survive. My parents had no idea what I was up to. They thought I was a very responsible kid. I got straight A's. I had a job from the time I was 13 or 14. I paid for my own car and clothes, etc. They simply had no clue. I had 10 brothers and sisters and what my parents expected of me was to not cause them any trouble. I met their expectations because I never got caught.

I want to be much more vigilant than my parents were, but I don't want to make all of their decisions for them.

So I struggle all the time - where is the line between keeping them safe and being overprotective? I just don't know.