Sororities-past & now

[Aggie_Ama]

Sororities are gaining popularity at Texas A&M but still not the norm. I could hardly afford college so I definitely could not afford the average $2,500/year for sorority life. I probably wouldn't have enjoyed it myself.

I did not have any friends that were sorority gals or fraternity boys but I didn't oppose the groups, just never really befriended them. My husband and his friends jokingly call us a co-ed fraternity, we even have code intials. Mainly we all suffered through working together sometime at Lowe's and that was our "brotherhood". Everyone in the "frat" has lived with one or more person at sometime.

[Triskeliongirl]

Intersting you say sorority life is expensive. My son finds living in a fratnernity house cheaper than living in a dorm, since the fraternity owns their house, and food prepared by their cook is cheaper than a meal plan. As Mr. Silver stated, I see a lot of positive things coming from his experience. He is being mentored by alumni of his fraternity in the business world. For example, he got a job as a microsoft student partner through this mechanism. Same thing with access to internships, career counseling, etc. I know, I had no clue either about any of this since it wasn't part of my experience.

Its true that you can argue that membership is 'exclusive' but my observation of that process is that its simply about kids finding a good fit with a group of friends, so its not exclusive in a discriminatory way. In fact, my son's frat is the most racially diverse of all frats on campus, and I believe has the second highest GPA for whatever that is worth. I was so impressed when I met his brothers. It was also interesting for me to watch how they did an intervention on a brother who was partying too much and having academic problems. They definitely got him onto the straight and narrow. In fact, my son's first dorm assignment was in a dorm with a huge drug problem (yeh, the air in his suite was thick with pot smoke, even on parent's weekend), and the frat house was a safe haven in which he could work and get away from all that until we were able to get his dor transfer processed. Even though freshmen weren't allowed to live in frat houses, they gave him a bed and desk (free of charge) until he get his housing assignment sorted out with the housing office.

Yes, my son has organized some huge parties, but I view this as a terrific learning experience. He emphasizes how critical it is to be sober in order to put on one of these parties, the fun is not getting drunk, its managing to organize a large event and have it go off without a snag. Leadership training is huge. At MIT kegs aren't allowed, and party plans must be submitted to a council for approval. Its all very strictly regulated.

[Aggie_Ama]

$2,500 at A&M was the estimated cost in the brochure I was mailed for dues, parties, costumes, etc.... I am sure it varies by university. You pay extra on top of that to live in the house and not every sorority sister gets a spot in the house which I do not know how it compared to the dorm because I couldn't even get past the estimated dues part and sorority life did not really appeal to me personally. If I had asked my Nanny and Pawpaw likely would have given me the money because they would have found it to be worthwhile to have a sorority girl for a granddaughter but I didn't really think it was something I was interested in myself.

I lived two years in a dorm and had a meal plan which was pricey but I loved being on campus as it is one of the most beautiful in my biased opinion, the sorority houses are far removed from the campus and they miss so much being practically outside town.

At A&M many of the frats do not have houses big enough to live in and when I was there from 1999-2003 they were definitely frowned upon. Since Bonfire fell and campus traditions have faded I hear frats are getting bigger but when I was there the thought was "you don't buy friends here". I am not saying it is the right because at other campus I know many who have benefitted from greek life it was just never a part of Texas A&M until very recently. The only real frat was the Corp of Cadets which is a whole 'nother can of worms.

[Aint Doody]

Although this was 40 years ago, it was cheaper to live in the house than in a dorm. Also we paid by the month for our food, and that made it cheaper in the long run. It makes me sad when people think that fraternity/sorrority life is all about alcohol and snobbery. It's like Trisk said--it's about finding a good fit. That's not to say there weren't many hurt feelings among those who did not get a bid for one reason or another. At Ole Miss it was a numbers game. There was to be a spot for everybody, but it never worked out that way. But my sorority was a big part of my college life.

[emily_in_nc]

I went to UNC in the early '80s, and Greek life was very big -- 15-20% of the student body, and much higher in the part of campus I lived in. I was a Pi Beta Phi legacy, but my father refused to pay for me to pledge. Even though he had been a Kappa Alpha in college at NCSU himself, by the time I was in school, he felt that the Greek system was too elitist, so he was adamantly against it. His other big objection was that it was quite expensive to pledge and join a sorority, even without living in house (I was a dorm rat for all four years), and I had two siblings following close behind me to go to college on his nickel.

I was very pissed at him about this and wished I could have afforded to pay my own way as I really wanted to try Greek life. I got over it over time, but reading this thread has brought back some kind of uncomfortable memories and feelings for me. I remember feeling like I didn't fit in and didn't have any friends, since nearly all the girls around me in my dorm were rushing and ended up pledging. I felt very left out and excluded.

I'm not sure how I feel about it all now. I don't have children so have not had to think about this in a long time, since I'm in my 40s now. I do think that if I had pledged a sorority, I might still have some friends from college. As it is now, I didn't keep up with any of my college friends. I dated one guy all the way through my years at UNC, and once we broke up, I pretty much left my college friendships behind.

Yeah, I'm kinda disappointed about what could have been. I think I missed out on some potentially rewarding female friendships.

[tulip]

Emily, I was at the same place a couple years later (started in 85), but I lived on South Campus (Morrison) during my freshman year. After that I lived off-campus. It did seem like EVERYONE was in a sorority, didn't it? And I bet in North Campus it was even more pronounced, what with rush going on right there and all. I figured everyone who lived in Kenan was in a sorority anyways!

I think they banned all those silly rush activities a while back, so it's not so crazy with gaggles of pandering girls going from house to house. It did seem rather pandering, the rush part. But it would have been nice to make some lasting friendships, and I didn't do that either. But we got through it and here we are! Older and wiser, although perhaps not as well-connected.

[emily_in_nc]

Emily, I was at the same place a couple years later (started in 85), but I lived on South Campus (Morrison) during my freshman year. After that I lived off-campus. It did seem like EVERYONE was in a sorority, didn't it? And I bet in North Campus it was even more pronounced, what with rush going on right there and all. I figured everyone who lived in Kenan was in a sorority anyways!

I think they banned all those silly rush activities a while back, so it's not so crazy with gaggles of pandering girls going from house to house. It did seem rather pandering, the rush part. But it would have been nice to make some lasting friendships, and I didn't do that either. But we got through it and here we are! Older and wiser, although perhaps not as well-connected.

How interesting, tulip, to hear from another Tarheel! I was indeed on North Campus (Alderman dorm), and I think about 60% of our dorm pledged, or at least it felt like it. I had no idea rush was no longer done. It was SUCH a big deal when I was there. OTOH, I think my grades were better because I had more time for studies -- I made Phi Beta Kappa my junior year, so I guess I have a bit of Greek in me after all.

And you're right, I think going through frustrations can only make us stronger. No one gets all she wants, after all.

Thanks for the reply -- oh, and GO HEELS!

[Possegal]

. At Ole Miss ...

Hey, I went to Ole Miss. Have we discussed that before? Though I went for my PhD, so no sorority for me (there anyway). I had a lot of students that were in them though and I was quite envious of the gorgeous houses they lived in!

[tulip]

Sorority dues were quite expensive (for my family) and had to be paid whether you lived in the house or not. Most sisters did not live in the house, and had to pay dorm fees and meal plans (or live in an apartment) in addition to the sorority fees. That's another reason why I did not choose to go through rush and join a sorority, although it was not the only reason. I have two brothers younger than me and I would not have felt right about asking my family to swing the sorority dues on top of everything else.

[shootingstar]

I must say that I've learned abit here....of things past.

Would a sorority have benefitted me? Only perhaps for 1 year. I know my life experiences just prior to univeristy would have been most likely quite different from those from a family with more money. I even tried hanging out with international students....but many of them came from wealthy families. I had tough time relating to many of them. So I left the group..sometimes just staying around too long heightens feelings of alientation /differences.

so I struck out outside of campus, to an organization working on Third World issues and foreign aid matters. This is how radical I went.


for those of us, who had build networks and connections elsewhere, for myself it was through grad school and through professional associations thereafter.