Best Bike Buying Advice, EVER!

[tulip]

"Broad" doesn't bother me, except if it's used in reference to my backside. Neither does "Dame."

I've never heard of "Cougar" in that context before. Only in reference to large wild cats, and I only hear about them when one decides that joggers in California are tasty.

[jobob]

We can put our guns back in their holsters and pick up those teacups again, pinkies poised.

"We" can? Speak for yourself, Duck.
I don't appreciate being told how I am supposed to react to a post.

[indysteel]

Smurf, based on this thread and a few of your other threads, I have to say that you seem unduly fixated on what you have as compared to others, especially people who are wealthier and older than you. I can assure you that "keeping up with the joneses" leads to nothing but grief, emotional and financial. I would urge you to resist trying to do that.

As a 40-year old with an Amex in my pocket, I can assure you that it wasn't that way when I was your age. I was just getting out of law school, in significant school debt with $9 to my name. I didn't have much of anything until, to be frank, fairly recently. Even when I started to earn a decent income, I resisted the urge to go into debt for the things that I wanted. Instead, I paid off my school loans. I saved. I bought a house. I invested. I gave to charity. I saved some more.

While I allowed myself a few nice things and some budget European vacations, I tried very hard to resist any sense of entitlement. I also tried to resist envy, even though I have many friends who have much more than I do--either because they have a more lucrative career, inherited it or married into it. The trappings of wealth are superficially nice, but I'd rather value my life by other things: my health, my dear BF, my friends, my volunteer work, my pets, my hobbies, my career.

I simply hate how it feels to desire all the time. It's incredibly toxic. Instead, I carefully evaluate the wants that I have and measure them against what I otherwise want and value in my life. Because of that, I live well within my means. I refuse to buy things that I can afford. I find much more joy in my financial stability than I do any material item.

I don't fault you for wanting a really nice bike, and if you can truly afford it, knock yourself out. But if you can't or can only afford a less expensive bike, then accept that with grace and focus on other things. If your friend in Portland advised you to buy the bike you want but can't afford just because "you're only young once," then I assure you that he did not give you the best advice ever.

I understand that you live in a town where there's lots of money and work with people who harass you about your bike. So, I'm not saying it's going to easy to resist wanting more than you can afford, but ultimately, you can choose to ignore it. If nothing else, please keep your bike lust in perspective. You may decide to eat ramen noodles for a year simply so you can afford to buy a bike, but don't forget that lots of other people eat ramen noodles simply so they can afford their rent or buy medicine for their kids or keep the heat on during the winter.

Frankly, I think you might benefit from getting a a dose of reality/different perspective in Boulder. I would encourage you to volunteer with a group that helps people who are disadvantaged in some way. IMO, getting outside your own head (and away from the people who put you down all the time), might do you some good.

[GLC1968]

Personally, I don't really find this offensive in its current form. Had he come on here and posted this himself, then yes, it would be worth ripping him a new one.

I just see this as a conversation between friends. It wasn't intended for my ears, so I'm not going to take it as a personal offense. Hell, it may not even be how he feels about 50 year old women...he might have just said it to make a point to his young friend. We can't know, because we don't know him.

I do think that perhaps smurf should have thought twice before posting his exact words on a forum where a large % of the audience is over 50, though.

[Triskeliongirl]

I am sorry if this is perceived as an attack on smurf, but its not. I view it as sensitivity training, and perhaps we have helped her by letting her know that aging doesn't have to be the way she has been perceiving it.

[jillm]

I thought I'd submit it in this thread instead!

[jobob]

Will there be shorts too? Much more accurate for me.

[tulip]

Sign me up!

[Selkie]

I agree with a lot of the responses to the OP, Indysteel's in particular. I hesitated about posting a response because I get very emotional about what I perceive as misogynistic comments.

I don't really care about the OP's friend's motivations. His comments were offensive and ignorant (as in an idiot) --- "you'll never look as you do now" because you're younger? Would he have said this to a male friend? I think not. There is more helpful advice that he could have given to the OP, IMHO.

I'm 46 and I have an AMEX card. I have worked hard, fought gender discrimination, to do well in my career. No, I don't want to be 20 or even 30.

It never amazes me the way society treats females over 40 - we are truly the "hidden" victims of discrimination.

A word like "cougar" does not belong on this forum.

[Miranda]

(the jersey...)

I thought I'd submit it in this thread instead!

OK, I was feeling a bit grumpy and blue... this jersey made me howl lol when it popped up. Thx, I love this forum.

[SadieKate]

My matching shorts could say "load."

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

My matching shorts could say "load."

But what if you forgot to wear the jersey and only wore the shorts one day?

[redrhodie]

But what if you forgot to wear the jersey and only wore the shorts one day?

Ahahahahhahahhhaaaa!!!

[SadieKate]

Only the smart people would get the true meaning. The rest? Who cares?

[Zen]

My matching shorts could say "load."

I can think of a number of jerseys that would coordinate with that