In a low place

[smurfalicious]

(((((((Hugs)))))))))

I was always so impressed with your attitude and tenacity when you brought that bike home and decided to rebuild it. That doesn't mean you have to love it... I just want you to know that you are inspirational.

*blushes* Thanks, I need to step back sometimes and remember how much work went into that bike. All else fails I'm sure some trendy Boulderite would gladly pay $500 for that bike. Not sure I want to part with her but truth be told she's too big for me. If I get a new ride and keep her she's getting an 11-34 in the rear, an XT rear derailleur, and some seeeeexy black and white fenders from Woody's back home in Bend. She will be the hottest bike at the grocery store, and have the gears to get me up the 12% hill fulla groceries!!!

As for mtn bikes: Honestly, with your attitude I would say you're a rigid single speed kinda girl... build one of those and that'll quiet the peanut gallery. Not only that, they are cheap because they are simple and elegant because they are simple and it takes a special kind of person to ride one... you fit the bill. Yes you have to be super strong to climb a lot on a single speed... but it's mostly mental and I think you can do it.

Ha ha! Hardtails for the headstrong! I would totally do it but ya see, there was a single speed rigid at one point. My friend sold me a Surly 1x1 at cost because all his single speed customers were tall guys and a 14" frame wasn't moving. I tried to build it, really I did. Problem was it was much more fun to upgrade my MTB that was ready to ride than to buy parts so eventually I sold it. So I'd feel kinda silly buying one. One of the gals actually has a single speed rigid 29er that's too big for her because her ex thought it was a great first mtb. Heh. I wanted to buy it from her but she's decided to keep it for her current BF. Boo.

Not sure where in the gorge you are, but when I lived in central Oregon my fam had a house in PDX. I was there for the weekend and took the bike out to Hood River to ride the syncline. EVERYONE in the parking lot stared at me befuddled when I pulled out my bike. A few even asked "You're going to ride this on a hardtail!?" Yessir I am!!!

I did meet a cool frame builder that has half committed to helping me build a steel frame. I can't even fathom how amazing that would be! And the seething jealousy would be delicious frosting on top.

And I agree with you about your horse. I grew up with horses. Nothing beats crying into a mane.

Oh yeah, PJ is the best for that. He's just a giant cuddle bug. 16 hands, 1400 pounds of pure love. It was so awesome today, everything just clicked. I got the most beautiful collected jog out of him. I stopped him before it went astray and loved on him for a while. It's like he knew, probably did. Horses are wicked attune that way.

[Wahine]

I work in Hood River and am currently sleeping at a friend's house in Mosier. I don't have a permanent home at the moment.

Just rode the Syncline today in the mud with a giant Trance that someone is selling one season used. Nice bike but probably still out of my price range, even used.

Take care.

[lph]

Oh smurf, you do sound down. I'm going to sound like an old fogey here - but really - it's not about the bike. You know that, we all know it, but it's sooo easy to get carried away by the want-that-one, ooh, look-at-THAT-one, wouldn't-THAT-colour-be-perfect hysteria. The perfectionism is one reason I don't want to buy a new bike, I'd spend ages researching it, and still manage to find some flaw afterwards. If nothing else I'd be annoyed at the price. Fixing up old bikes I just don't have that level of expectation and I accept that things break down or don't work all the time. There is always going to be someone with a bike that is better, and I kind of get a kick out of riding a bike that doesn't impress anyone - it just works.

Please, don't let the bike mean too much. You have such a huge amount of guts and spirit, and it's a waste to spend it on irrelevant stuff. You really need some more supportive (or just less mouthy!) people to hang around with though. Isn't anyone focusing on what you DO with the bike, the actual riding, the fun part? You can always improve on that, you know, and it's completely free

[crazycanuck]

Smurf-I don't know exactly how to help I say stuff them all & do what YOU want.

Do you do rodeos? Is there an equestrian club in your area that has some down to earth/normal folk?

BTW..I ride a hardtail & would love a duallie.. I too have been feeling inadequate lately amongst many roadies/mtb folks as I don't have the best bikes in the world.

Take care

C

[Duck on Wheels]

((((Smurf)))) There's definitely a lot of cr*p flying out of the fan these days, and you seem to have been hit by more than your share. In my depression experience, the feeling of helplessness while life goes spinning out of control is a trigger; making plans, however small and marginal, can give you back some of the sense of control. So my tip, FWIW, is to focus on what you can change for the better. Feel free to come over here and cry on some virtual manes whenever you feel the urge, and f'sure make the most of your equine support. We may gush on about our bikes from time to time, causing a bit of jealousy. Being a duck, most of that just washes off my back. I think a lot of us feel about the same: We admire others' bikes (including yours!), but don't feel like we have to have that one and that one and THAT one. Yeah, I know there are a lot of posts expressing bike envy or bike lust, but each such post is just one person lusting one bike. Out of the hundreds of us, mostly the response is "Nice bike! Congrats!" and then we go pat our own trusty rusty steed on the saddle and ride on. You also have a LIVE steed to pat, who nuzzles you back and responds to your feelings. Now THAT is something I envy!!!

[sundial]

One of the most debilitating things about depression is that it robs us of our rational thinking. We are left with raw feelings of helplessness and hopelessness that perpetuates the problem further.

You've had the weight of the world on your shoulders and it's been difficult for you to keep your head above the water. It sounds like you are starting at a good place by addressing your physical needs first. Once you get your body healthier things won't seem as dismal and overwhelming. Spend time with your horses. I know how therapeutic they can be. Surround yourself with positive and healthy people who have a genuine respect and concern for you and your well being. Buy fresh flowers to add a little bit of sunshine to your home or office. With longer, sunnier days just around the corner you'll want to get out more often for the fresh air and sunshine and that will help you too.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I'd guess that perhaps half of the women here on TE can't afford a new fancy bike right now either. Or a horse.
If you have your health and you have a roof over your head and food to eat, and you have your loved ones who mean something to you....that's what really matters most, right? Sometimes, especially when we are young, we don't realize this until we suddenly lose one of those things.

And people who purposely make you feel crummy because you don't have some expensive material object like they have are shallow. The hell with them and their superficial values. Often we take on the attitudes of those we surround ourselves with. Consider making changes in your life plan that will cause you to associate with more positive people and fewer negative ones. Such changes can be small and still make a difference.

[Biciclista]

And people who purposely make you feel crummy because you don't have some expensive material object like they have are shallow. The hell with them and their superficial values. Often we take on the attitudes of those we surround ourselves with. Consider making changes in your life plan that will cause you to associate with more positive people and fewer negative ones. Such changes can be small and still make a difference.

Can't you tell these "friends" to buzz off? I think you're fortunate to be able to keep a horse. I had to give mine up years ago. I do seriously question friends that put you down for a bike like the one you built. I would be very proud of it and I would give my "friends" a good talking about how they are HURTING my feelings.