Have you tried applying for other jobs? Just a thought once you're in a calmer moment. You have a future way ahead of yourself...more than some other TE members here.

Guess having the horse does take up a certain amount of costs... I'm only remarking because my partner used to be weekend farmer and he had 3 horses. (plus cattle, etc.) I know he loved the horses. So did his children. So I heard abit about costs to maintain...horses. But he had to sell the whole farm works off due to divorce, etc. So he went from farm to bikes. It was cheaper for him, besides he was struggling with major allergies with dust from dealing with the bales of hay from his farm..

Your mom is probably doing a valiant job surviving as best as she can. She's probably grateful her daughter has a job --one less worry for her, right?

And one can only be a friend to listen and comfort in the hardest of times.

May you find answers, peace on the bike, while on the horse.....on the journey ahead.