Quote Originally Posted by smurfalicious View Post
A lot of it has to do with work, and a lot of it is the loss of sense of self I've dealt with since I moved to Colorado. I loved my bike when I started there, I was gushing pride out every pore over that bike. Now they've successfully made me hate it, think it's a total POS, etc. I honestly don't even want to ride it anymore. For reals, ever. I hate it.

Insult to injury everyone else has purchased a new bike recently and it's making me wicked jealous as they parade them in front of me. Whenever I mention maybe changing something on my bike it's always, "Why don't you just buy a new bike?" Gosh guys, I've NEVER thought about that before! What a brilliant idea! Oh yeah, I'm not rocking the dual income no kids lifestyle, and I don't live at home with mom and dad so I'm not sitting a few grand extra.

I've thought about selling my beloved massive L series lens, but I can't commit to that, that lens was my dream since high school, even if it hardly ever gets used. So that leaves me trying to save up for a new ride, and even if I scrimp like mad and save everything I can it's gonna take at LEAST 8 months and in the mean time I have a bike I don't even want anymore that everyone pisses on.
Initial thought: why are you riding with these people? They sound condescending and inconsiderate.

I am so sorry to hear about your experience with depression I am glad to hear you are making yourself do stuff, despite your desires to cry/sleep.

I like to make lists of things I am grateful to have in my life to help cheer me up. I have also found that if you count on the people who care about you, you will be pleasantly surprised at the love and support they are able to offer.

Hang in there. I hope tomorrow is brighter