your conflict with your husband isn't helping. If you are sabotaging what he's saying to your son that is sending him very bad messages. Your husband does see first hand what happens when people don't do well in school. Sometimes a little "tough love" is just what they need. I agree you need to read that book, boys adrift.

My older son went from honors classes to the regular ones when he was a fresh or soph in high school. Boy, did he discover THAT was a mistake. but it was HIS mistake. and when he went to college, he was able to take all the classes he needed. might be good for that boy to fail. i'm serious.