Yeah, we do that "it must be me" thing a lot in this field.
It's hard to come up against some of the limits we have on what we can control. But...you also want to try to remind yourself that some of the seeds you've dropped onto what looks like fallow kid ground may well sprout later, even if you never get to see that. That happens, Veronica, which I know you know.
But I'm sorry for how it feels right now.
"My predominant feeling is one of gratitude. I have loved and been loved;I have been given much and I have given something in return...Above all, I have been a sentient being, a thinking animal, on this beautiful planet, and that in itself has been an enormous privilege and an adventure." O. Sacks