confusion...
as i sit here listening to a telethon on a local radio station...and see the array of critical headlines my heart cries!!! am i angry? am i disgusted? am i sad? or am i relieved?
my first reactions to the cat 5 rolling towards the gulf was relief...that could have been my city! that could have been my struggle! but now that relief is guilt for feeling that way in the first place!
then i saw the damage and thought of the asian countries hit with the tsunami and was sure we could bounce back faster and easier (heck we are a civilized country, right?)
now look at us?!? i do not know what to think...i heard this morning of a crew of new orleans police officers trying to stop a group of looters only to be shot at, one officer was shot point blank in the forhead!!! a national guard troop was beaten back at the entry to the covention center by angry citizens!!! a relief helicopter was shot at trying to deliver water!!! boats are lined up waiting to enter the flooded areas only to be told to enter at your own risk or not to enter at all because of the danger (not the environmental danger, but the mobs and thugs) women are being raped as they try to walk through the street for refuge...no wonder relief is slow!!!
FEMA said that their normal method of operations is ill equipped to deal with this magnitude (they usually begin registering victims AFTER red cross has comforted them...supply the victims with long-term help by direct depositing money into bank accounts - which there are none) ....red cross' supply of relief was dissipated with overwelming amount of people seeking relief immediately!!!
i am now struggling with the anger and/or pity...these people were told to evacuate...in fact they were urged to leave (in fact some were required to sign waivers in order to inentify the remains or missing) so why didn't they leave? poverty, no transportation, too immobile with sickness...who knows?
i guess my real question is why is this disaster's aftermath so violent and out of control...and others like the twin towers, the tsunami, california earthquakes, etc seem to be a true sign of humanity??? what has our country come to???
can we stop looking for someone to blame and just get together to help each other in a huge cotastrophe???
my rant is over for now...thank you for listening (reading)...my heart continues to struggle but i do find peace in the group of women here and the amazing amount of good people out there donating, volunteering, and helping!
I am a nobody; nobody is perfect, and therefore I am perfect.