Am I a Whiner?

[teigyr]

Could be they like you OR they are intimidated by you. If they were ok with themselves, they wouldn't feel the need to do what they're doing.

I used to ride centuries on a hard tail mtn bike. It was my first "real" bike as a grown-up and I LOVED that bike. I had one guy say in this condescending tone "it must be SO hard to ride SUCH a heavy bike". I passed him on a hill and really had to bite my tongue to ask him how easily his light bike would be to push up the hill

Tyler's a good guy, at least he seems that way.

And High Fidelity is an awesome movie! The book is great too.

Enjoy that jersey! It's all about the meaning.

Individuality is a wonderful thing though some people are threatened by it. Be who you are and they will get tired of it. I betcha most of them admire you. I was always a bit different (I even changed a head gasket!) and it took a long time to realize I kind of enjoyed it when people thought I wasn't a typical girl or cyclist or anything, really.

Now...erm...isn't Tyler still married or have I not been paying attention?

[OakLeaf]

Oh man. ((((((((smurf))))))) I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, but I don't, only sympathy. What a bunch of ***holes. Can you at least find another club to ride with? These guys would probably totally shun you then, but being ostracized sounds better than what they're putting you through now. It's obviously sexual harrassment, but if they're not being overtly sexual about it, there's probably nothing you can do.

[Bluetree]

ok, to be a Devil's Advocate... I hang around a bunch of male roadies and I get teased and "insulted" mercilessly. They make fun of my gender, my height, my mismatched drive train, my Fred commuter, my race, the grease mark on my calf, you name it. Guess what? I don't mind it, and I give back as bad as I get. It's hard to take a bunch of sissypansy, concave-chested, bootie-wearing, ***-shaven primadonna fashionistas seriously and I'll tell them that right to their faces. You know what? They laugh.

Seriously, before you judge them too harshly, think that perhaps they use their childish antics as a bonding display. They invited you to join them at the veldrome, right? If they didn't like you or thought so little of you, they probably wouldn't have done that.

You've done quite a bit for yourself. Be proud of who you are!



P.S. If it bothers you during work hours, it might be prudent to remind management that certain things aren't kosher during work. While many people find such banter acceptable, from management's POV, no business should allow behaviors that may be construed as sexual harrassment. It's not professional.

[Triskeliongirl]

I'm with bluetree on this. These are *young men*, right? You are a *young women*. Sometimes this is just how guys this age act. To me it sounds like they are treating you like one of them, a sign of acceptance/respect even if it doesn't always feel that way. Go to that velodrome and have a great time!

[beccaB]

Hoping not to step on any toes here- I work with a bunch of middle American union hillbillies who think riding a bike at all is ridiculous. One guy's abdomen is bigger than mine when I was 9 and a half months pregnant.! So, I don't really care what they think!

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

As those boys get older they will become less foolish.
As you get older you will not be bothered so much by their immature comments- you won't care so much about what others might think of you, what you think about yourself will become more important.
In the meantime however, listen to Bluetree's words of wisdom.

[kermit]

I think deep down they are intimidated by you. I work in a unit of guys and yeah always get picked on. Although I can dish it out when I need to. They tease the ones they like. If they completely ignored you then I'd worry. You are a threat to the machoness of the boys bike club. Since you've been invtited to the velo it sounds like your in, just don't take the crap. If someone says something you don't like, give it right back. Remind them when they get too cocky that they are not perfect. Have fun with them. It's cool to be independent and different, enjoy it.

[gnat23]

I gotta concur a bit with Bluetree. A lot of my male-dominated groups of friends (cyclists, work dept, rock climbing) tease each other, because that's how they show affection. Like in 5th grade when the boys would hit the girls they liked, because they didn't know what else to do.

Like, I get the feeling they want you to go to the velodrome because they genuinely like you. I seriously doubt they REALLY care about your pedal status.

If there's a comment that's REALLY outta line, you should step up and let them know ("Hey, not cool, man...") ("Knock it off or I'll drop you on the next hill")

Otherwise, you have the right to dish it right back at them. When made fun of for being a hick, tell 'em to bug off or you'll hogtie them. Ask them why they spend so much on those nice light pedals and then eat a giant burrito. Tell them fantasy romance stories involving yourself and Taylor (they'll stop you before long). They're making fun of you for liking hardtails? Sheesh, remind them that FSR are for sissies*

-- gnat!

* Mind you, all I have is a FSR, so I can represent. In fact, a friend of mine who does single speed MTB calls me a sissy all the time. I call him a retro-nerd. It all balances out.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Like in 5th grade when the boys would hit the girls they liked, because they didn't know what else to do...
....They're making fun of you for liking hardtails? Sheesh, remind them that FSR are for sissies....

Too funny, I love it!

[Flur]

Sounds to me like they're jealous and insecure. They're probably used to helpless girls and don't know what to do with you. And there's that group-mentality going on, like they're bonding in making fun of you. If this is the situation (as opposed to good-natured ribbing) your best bet might be to divide and conquer. Is there one of the guys (has to be a guy, ideally the least insecure of the bunch) that you like more than the others? If so, maybe invite him to lunch or some other non-date-like activity, just the two of you. Odds are good if you can get one of them away from the group he'll be pretty cool to you, and once he sees you as a friend picking on you won't be so appealing.

[Tri Girl]

I don't think you're a whiner. I think your feelings are valid, and I'm sorry you are feeling that way.
Here's my thoughts: give 'em H-E double hockey sticks right back and don't feel bad about being a little crass. I'll bet Staci is their pet project because she's a sissy pants and they can tell her what to buy, how to ride, what to wear and she'll go along. You, however, have your own opinions and ideas and do your own thing. I agree that they're probably intimidated. How many of them can ride a horse, change their own oil, repair their own car, load bales of hay? Probably not one. I think they give you a hard time because they know you could drop 'em in a second in most any task (it's hard to be masculine when you shave your legs ).