Yeah swimming is bit freaky in tri. I lose it my first one every year, then it's payback for the next. I'm not a swimmer by training, I learned to crawl 5 years ago just to do tri. This year I knocked 7 minutes off a 3/4 mile swim by not breast/backstroking, and litterally only been in the water twice this year before.

So nobody will be laughing at you because they are too busy swimming. You don't have to swim crawl, however breast stroke in crawl groups results in other swimmer being frog-kicked in the body (it is quite unpleasant) and w/ backstroke you can't navigate. I do like backstroke to catch my breath. However if your in the back of the swim you probably won't have to worry too much

Here's my breathing advice: slow steady outbreath, try to get the feeling you breathing normally, just your exhale happens to be underwater. Often I count or sing to myself. I train-swim a 3 stroke breath so I'm not one side dependant, which is helpful when you've got little waves coming from one side and can therefore breathe easily out from left or right, whichever is necessary.

Look at the "Total Immersion" book, lot's of info but you can definitely pull out helpful hints.

Also don't think of swimming as trying not to drown. I often spend time floating on my back to remind myself I don't have to struggle to stay afloat, that the water can be like a mattress.

Good luck - Lorna