I went to Hawaii with DS as one stop on our round-the-world ticket (from a holiday back home in Norway, to California to finish up his school term and my sabbatical, then Hawaii, Japan, China and home again). We made our Hawaii arrangements via a travel agent in Santa Cruz (CA) who specialized in Hawaii. She found us a condo to rent for the week. It was lovely and, aside from ds getting second-degree sunburn on day 1 that also had him kinda feverish and shivering during our snorkeling outing on day 2, we had a great time. Lesson learned: Use the high-digits sun factor!!!

But back to your question. There are certainly lovely small places with ditto condo or house rentals where you can live like a local and still have access to touristy things to do, such as that snorkeling day, or the surfing lessons ds had later in the week, or our drive around the Big island and up the volcano. I suggest you look for a Hawaii booking specialist, or do some virtual tripping on-line to look for what you want. I could also ask my brother who had his wedding on Maui, but I think they stayed with friends.