It just shouldn't be that hard to unclip! Take the pedals to your shop and have them checked out. I'm betting a lot of your problems stem from not being able to unclip fast enough on the side you are used to putting your foot down on. If you've always put your left foot down, it's going to be hard to unlearn that!

I've been riding clipess for 4 years now, and have yet to fall because of the pedals (knocking wood like crazy! ). I ride with the right pedal really loose, because I have a bad left knee and I never, ever, ever want to land on that side! In an emergency, my right foot will pop right out.

My advice is, do NOT attempt to ride in traffic until you master the clipless pedals.