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  1. #16
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    1,333

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    I wanted to post from the reversed side of the table.

    I have a couple of very good male friends who are single. I've known them for about 8 years, and in that time, they have both expressed their interest in taking the friendship to another level.

    One thing I hate about having male friends is sooner or later you have to clarify what your friendships' boundaries are.

    I wish we didn't have to, I like them just fine as friends and would never want to entertain anything more with them. It makes me feel uncomfortable that they have admitted that they want more from me than my friendship, and it inevitably goes through a period of awkwardness. Luckily they've been able to get past it and have remained very good platonic friends. They even hang out with my boyfriend

    This probably isn't helping your situation, but sometimes a relationship is the best way to ruin a good friendship. It may take you some time (and maybe you need to not see him much for a while?) to readjust your thinking towards him.

    He's been upfront about not wanting a relationship saying he's a "confirmed bachelor". He obviously doesn't want to or have problems with commitment, so it's probably safe to assume that if you guys did venture into a relationship he'll hurt you.

    And like others have said, don't think this has anything to do with what you think you lack. You don't, and you're definitely good enough - for someone who deserves you!

  2. #17
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Riding my Luna & Rivendell in the Hudson Valley, NY
    Posts
    8,411
    I think it's not a matter of someone being 'good enough' for someone else. It's a matter of if someone is 'the right person' for someone else.

    Also, I have found that even though we can probably say correctly that it's impossible to control whether we have certain feelings for someone- it is possible to control what we do about those feelings. Often a strong physical crush/attraction towards a friend can run its course if we let it be...leaving in the end a healthy intact friendship. I can speak from experience on this one, and I'm sure glad now that I waited it out! Took a few months, but it was the right thing to do.
    Lisa
    My mountain dulcimer network...FOTMD.com...and my mountain dulcimer blog
    My personal blog:My blog
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

  3. #18
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Beautiful NW or Left Coast
    Posts
    5,619
    Quote Originally Posted by BleeckerSt_Girl View Post
    I think it's not a matter of someone being 'good enough' for someone else. It's a matter of if someone is 'the right person' for someone else.
    that was my point. You are plenty good enough. But find someone who wants you. that will make all the difference in the world.
    I like Bikes - Mimi
    Watercolor Blog

    Davidson Custom Bike - Cavaletta
    Dahon 2009 Sport - Luna
    Old Raleigh Mixte - Mitzi

 

 

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