+1 Irulan. I was trying to think of a way to say the same thing, but you say it very well. A marriage is always two-way.

Bluetree-I would just tell them that you are not the person to unload on. If they need to talk to someone, they should explore counseling, either couples or individual. If they continue talking at you after you tell them this, I can ASSURE you that if they don't listen to you, they don't listen at home, either.

Best of luck.