Help with body image

[crazycanuck]

v..this is the thread lisa's referring to

http://http://forums.teamestrogen.co...ad.php?t=28180

[LBTC]

CC - I'm so glad you've received so much support and so many good ideas already. Take what you can and put it into practice. :-)

For me, when my health crisis was starting to turn the corner, I could feel that I was gaining more strength and mobility back, but my body was 30 or more pounds too heavy and on my short frame it REALLY showed. None of my clothes fit and it was terribly depressing for me. DH was really helpful - he got me out buying clothes. I went to a great consignment store and the lady there just loved to dress me up - she'd tell me what looked great and what didn't. I bought a REAL bra that was actually fitted. DH took me out as often as he could - gave me reasons to dress up. And, believe it or not, it worked!! Because I looked good in clothes that fit me well, I felt more confident, and that helped me look even better! And because the clothes were from a consignment store, I wasn't paying full retail - I didn't have to feel bad that I would shrink out of them And, sure enough, I did! As my body shifts from cycling season to winter and the difficulty of keeping the training going, I am resorting to a few of the in between clothes....but am happy to say that the clothes I bought at the beginning of that adventure still fall off of me!

You're a strong woman - let the world know!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[Andrea]

v..this is the thread lisa's referring to

http://http://forums.teamestrogen.co...ad.php?t=28180

Your link got a little messed up somehow... here ya go:

http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showthread.php?t=28180


I think you look mahhhhhvelous

[tulip]

What LBTC says is true! So often our clothes simply don't fit us and we're uncomfortable, and that makes us less confident. But if you get clothes that actually fit, no matter your size, you feel more comfortable and more confident.

I used to enjoy watching What Not To Wear because the hosts focused on what worked for each particular person--not some ideal. And everyone in that show glowed with confidence at the end.

cc-You are strong and beautiful, and very, very funny! Enjoy yourself--I get the idea that Ian does!

[Veronica]

cc-You are strong and beautiful, and very, very funny! Enjoy yourself--I get the idea that Ian does!

I love tulip's advice. Make this your mantra.

Veronica

[Zen]

I used to enjoy watching What Not To Wear because the hosts focused on what worked for each particular person--not some ideal. And everyone in that show glowed with confidence at the end.

I learned a few tricks from that show too

[sgtiger]

(((((((CC)))))))))

CC, you are beautiful in many ways including your bod. You just need to convince your brain to see it that way by changing your self talk from negative to positive. Focus on all the things you like, for example: your eyes that show your humor and intelligence behind them, your warm smile, your strong legs for getting you around, your knees for all the work it does, your core that is getting stronger and makes it possible for you to do what you do, your arms that pull you through the open water, your heart for ceaselessly pumping blood to bring fresh oxygen to where it's needed, etc. It takes time to get out of the habit of focusing on the negative. When you catch yourself doing it, imagine that you're blowing the thought away with your next exhalation. Be thankful that you and your body are healthy and strong. Remember too you've been through a lot and your body may still be recovering.

Other exercises:

1) Every morning right after you get out of bed look into your own eyes in a mirror and repeat daily 10X for a week - I am beautiful. Try to do it with sincerity. Don't roll your eyes or think "yeah right" while you're doing it. With a wipe board marker write This is Real Beauty on your bathroom mirror as a reminder.

2) With Ian, let him him tell you non-verbally how beautiful he thinks you are. I've seen the gleam he has when he's with you, so if his words don't convince you then let his eyes do the talking. Stand or sit eye to eye without saying word. He will show you how much he loves you and lusts after you. Next time try it naked with the lights dimmed. Candle light and moonlight work great. After that it's all up to the two of you.

[shootingstar]

Perhaps cycling goddess you might want to tell us more about yourself in General Discussion-Cycling issues.

meaning the type of bike, how long you have been cycling, etc.

[cylegoddess]

love to!

[Trekhawk]

love to!

Hey cyclegoddess lots of good advice for us all in your post.
Where are you in Aust?

[cylegoddess]

for everyone who has worried she was fat;
I used to be rail thin, Too thin. I looked like fashion models aspire to be. I lifted weights, I ran for three hours a day- for pleasure. I worked 12 hours a day, 6 days a week and went dancing until 6 in the morning, on days off. I was invincible. I thought all it mattered was to be skinny.
Then, one day I got sick. Then sicker , then my immune system started to break down. The toxic waste near where I live might have been the cause.
For years, I got worse, chronic fatigue , mysterious viruses, near collapse, and no sympathy from family and friends - no one knew why. I still had to work too.
I took up riding. I was pretty weak and pathetically thin from being sick, rather than the strong lean woman I was,so I couldnt ride much farther than around the block.. I could barely run down the street to catch the bus.
I started to train at the gym in cycling class. I watched Lance Armstrong videos.
Then I gained weight.Not much but some. More than I had been for years, so I felt fat but as I get better, I realize nothing matters but your health.
I look at my body and I feel happy that its working, that its strong most days and that I can now ride 28 km after a year of training.
I also feel even smaller, when I stand next to guy cyclists and their big, strong thighs. I dont see many women here but I rejoice in each one I see, because they looks strong too. Im pretty tiny, so Im all thighs and bottom and not much else, so it makes me look funny but every day I look to see if my legs , have hopefully gotten larger!

Id trade anything to be fully well ,even supposedly beong the 'ideal'dress size!!

I know now - rejoice in your body! love it, enjoy its strength and grace and sleek curves.
Be strong, be beautiful and enjoy your ride!

[staceysue]

I used to have a really negative body image, until I started seeing LOTS of people naked, in real life. hehe. When I became a nurse, my body image problems went away.

I worked 4 years in ER and saw hundreds of naked women of all ages, accompanied by their boyfriends/husbands, and I realized that real women honestly don't look like Hollywood women! At first it was a big shock to me when I'd see really good-looking men with women who had bodies like mine. It was confusing. I was saying things like "men sure aren't very picky."

Then - I had an epiphany! It is absolutely 100% true that Hollywood and magazines have totally skewed women's body images. It is very unusual to see a woman with a "perfect" body or even hollywood's definition of a "nice" or "acceptable" body!

It's a shame that show business doesn't do the same thing to men . . .

I'm almost 40, 5'4 and 150 lbs, and now I realize I'm in pretty darn good shape. I used to hate looking in the mirror, and now I'm proud of myself.

If you have the opportunity - get out there and look at lots of naked people!

[redrhodie]

Great post, staceysue! Thanks so much for that! It made my day.

I wish we could get young girls to see more "real" female bodies, because I suspect that will help. I wonder if the body image of the EU woman is better than ours in the US because of their more relaxed attitude to nudity?

[staceysue]

Great post, staceysue! Thanks so much for that! It made my day.

I wish we could get young girls to see more "real" female bodies, because I suspect that will help. I wonder if the body image of the EU woman is better than ours in the US because of their more relaxed attitude to nudity?

Yeah - in the US the only people who are relaxed about nudity are those who are in the top 1%.

Kind of a little tangent here - my nephew was caught looking at porn on the internet and my brother had a very good talk with him about it. He told him it was a bad idea to do that because if he got it in his head that that's what women really look (and behave) like, it would have a negative effect on his relationships later on. He made it clear to him that real women are not like that, and he'd better learn to love real women.

Not that we should be worried about whether or not men think we're good sex objects . . . but many of usare worried about that and we have to be realistic.

[Dogmama]

I
Then - I had an epiphany! It is absolutely 100% true that Hollywood and magazines have totally skewed women's body images. It is very unusual to see a woman with a "perfect" body or even hollywood's definition of a "nice" or "acceptable" body!

It's a shame that show business doesn't do the same thing to men . . .

But Hollywood is playing to an audience - us! Until our society speaks out loudly, we'll continue to be inundated with Victoria Secret women. As women, we need to object to descriptives such as "cow" or "fat pig." We should educate our daughters that buying a Victoria Secret push-up bra doesn't mean you'll look like them (especially if you have nothing to push up, like me!).

The bigger picture is that we need to redefine our definition of beauty. The best way is to vote with our pocketbook. Don't buy from stores that promote unhealthy, unattainable female body images. Write letters to the companies, to editors, tell your friends. That is the way paradigms are changed - when we realize that the old dominant paradigms no longer serve us.

<soap box off>