1. There is a bit of a break-in period in which your vulva does get a bit used to the pressure/friction. 2. Good cycling shorts with a chamois that suits you are important. 3. chamois cream (Assos, Chamois Butter, Asmaster, Belgum Budder) give your tender bits "glide" instead of friction - it's important. 4. You may need a different saddle - try some different saddle shapes to see if something feels more comfy (see the saddle threads here on TE). 5. sometimes just adjusting your saddle position (height, fore/aft, nose up or nose down) is helpful. And honestly, after more than 75 miles, love is not so much in the air at my house! Tokie (ps, it also helps to keep your hair trimmed very very short) You can search threads for most all of the above concepts!