I use both names, depending on the situation I'm in, mainly because DH of 13 1/2 years and I have a daughter who has his last name and it's easier on her at school if Mom is Mrs. Herlastname, too. However, in professional circles, I use my maiden name because I have a publishing record and a Masters in that name, and a professional reputation as a public speaker/teacher/workshop leader to maintain, and people would trip all over DH's five-syllable Hawaiian last name. Even my close personal friends don't attempt it.

His mom often calls me by the name she and I share, though, Mrs. Hislastname (which is also his father's last name, and so is her last name, too), usually grinning like it's some kind of private joke. She's funny that way.

As long as we're living in a patriarchal society, we're just going to have to put up with it, I think.

Roxy