Please help..MIL in town

[sundial]

Oh bless your heart. Is there a way your husband could help with damage control by getting them out of the house for awhile to give you a break? Maybe take them to see Christmas lights?

[Irulan]

Be polite, smile, say "no thanks I will do it my way" and escort her out of the kitchen, "isn't Jeopardy on". Or find a task just for her ( you make the salad). Or you can start world war III by saying FINE YOU DO IT.

I had a aunt in law that was like this, looking for all the dust, know it all in the kitchen.
She had a freak out because I roast my turkeys upside down. She was going completely ballistic ( politely) about it when I got a call from a friend wanting to know how I did the "most delicious turkey ever". My friend got a kick out of it, he said I bet you wish you had a speaker phone.

I would not sit there, you are not in the entertainment business. Do whatever you need to do just be nice about it. "I have to go fold 17 loads of laundry, I will be in the basement". That puts the ball in her court. She can come help you and chat you up, or sit there, her choice. Same thing, go to the grocery, who knows maybe she'll pick up the bill.

[solobiker]

Good idea, we actualy did that after some errands we had to do. It is just a little tough and not to reveal TMI but our house is an old bungalow with no real "private" bathroom to use so some issues are a little hard to manage Don't get me wrong, my Inlaws are great people, it is just that DH and I are used to being on our own.
One of my co-workers had me laughing so hard today as she says when her Mom comes to her house to visit (they are from the Philoppines) her Mom shares her bed with her! And her Mom stays with her for a month. She says it is their custom. Boy I am glad my MIL does not want to do that.

[SadieKate]

I'm with Irulan. If they're there for the month, do what you normally would. Laundry, errands, whatever. For that length of time they should be self-maintaining.

DO NOT train them to expect that you will provide all the entertainment and all the cooking and cleaning, especially if you are both working througout. If they want maid and chef services, make them a reservation at the local hotel.

Maybe even give them an assignment to trade off cooking a couple nights a week, just don't do a reverse-MIL.

[Zen]

it would be be difficult to have any houseguest for a month. I don't think I'd even want to be a houseguest for a month.

I can't offer any suggestions that don't involve alcohol.

[pardes]

When will everyone learn that house guests, like fish, begin to stink after three days.

My ex-husband of a million years ago stopped by for a visit a few years ago to amuse me with stories of...."you know how my mother hated you....well she hates my new wife EVEN MORE!"

Yup, his mother held the all time record for the worst MIL but then she was one of the most unhappy people I ever met so I could never really enjoy disliking her. And as much as I'm glad to longer be married to my ex-husband, I also find great satisfaction that his present wife wins the worst DIL title.

The only advice I can give you is to be who you are and don't pretend feelings you don't have. Ultimately, even if they continue to give you a hard time, they recognize a genuine person being genuine and they will, perhaps only secretly, be glad their son is lucky enough to have someone like you.

[Flybye]

Colorado is not THAT far of a drive to Idaho where I live - want to come stay with me for a bit?
Don't be sorry, vent all that you want, I have a MIL, too! No apology necessary.