It sounds like what you want is not an elopement--that would be NOT telling folks. Now that you've told them, well, of course they are going to weigh in. Step back and think about what you and Geoff want to do and who you want to be there. If you tell your family about it, it makes me (and probably them) think that you want them there. To me it sounds like you are sending mixed messages.

I got married overseas, but we had a mock-wedding (dress and everything) in the US for people who could not make it overseas. We exchanged vows but were not legally married in the US--that had to wait for the other country. It worked out well...best wishes to you and Geoff.