Any ideas for a Tahoe mtb elopement/family issues

[bmccasland]

I think you should thoroughly enjoy your Tahoe trip. If you have a wedding there or not is up to you. If you do, then have a reception back home to make the parental units happy.

Way back when... I was planning my wedding, my Mom piped up that she thought I ought to have the ceremony at my Grandmother's (in another state, where neither of us lived). I asked her if she was volunteering dearest Grandmama to do all the work, or did she want me to do all the wedding planning? I had my ceremony and reception where I wanted, and Grandmama was more than happy to fly in.

So go off, get hitched, or not. BUT there is one TE rule... we want pictures!

[tulip]

It sounds like what you want is not an elopement--that would be NOT telling folks. Now that you've told them, well, of course they are going to weigh in. Step back and think about what you and Geoff want to do and who you want to be there. If you tell your family about it, it makes me (and probably them) think that you want them there. To me it sounds like you are sending mixed messages.

I got married overseas, but we had a mock-wedding (dress and everything) in the US for people who could not make it overseas. We exchanged vows but were not legally married in the US--that had to wait for the other country. It worked out well...best wishes to you and Geoff.

[SouthernBelle]

Another option would be to have an informal ceremony before you leave and then Tahoe for your honeymoon.

But that's just a suggestion. Do whatever you want.

[SheFly]

So, I've been married twice. The first time was with the whole big family to-do, white dress, etc. It was a challenge to plan, and we ended up with even my Great Aunts and Uncles in attendance, since they all had opinions to share. It was a nice day, but the stress was brutal, and apparently, it didn't do much for the marriage either .

When I married DH, we truly eloped. We had been engaged for a couple of months, and we both knew when and where, but didn't tell anyone beforehand. We were married in our town on a Friday, and went to the Cape for the weekend. It was glorious - no stress, just us doing what we enjoyed - riding, walking on the beach and enjoying our first days as husband and wife. When we got home from the weekend, we called our families to let them know. They were all happy for us, although mom was disappointed she wasn't going to get a new dress .

A wise friend of mine, after one failed marriage, has said that our focus should not be on the wedding, but on the marriage. Words of wisdom.

So, I guess you can see where I am leaning here. Ultimately, as others have said, you need to do what makes you and Geoff happy. I just wanted to give you perspective based on my experience. I have no regrets about eloping what-so-ever. But, that's what worked for me.

Best wishes to you and Geoff, whatever you decide!

SheFly

[Biciclista]

it's your wedding, have pictures taken, have fun.
in 30 years do you want to look back and fuss about compromises you made or do you want to look back and smile; "we started this marriage the way we wanted"

[Blueberry]

Think about what you and Geoff want, and do it! Even if it doesn't make everyone else happy. It sounds to me like you might be happier just having a private ceremony in Tahoe early in your trip, enjoying the riding, and then only dealing with family at a reception when you get home. Nothing wrong with that, if it's what will make you happy.

One of my big regrets is that we gave up doing what we wanted to do because no one else liked it. We still had a nice wedding, but it wasn't what we really wanted. Basically, we gave up what we wanted and paid a lot of $$ to make other people happy. Not really a good idea in my book

[BarbaraAlys]

I agree with all of those that are telling you to do what you want, not what you think your family wants. You will not please all of them anyway, and really this is about YOU not about them.

I made compramises for my wedding that I wish I had not because I was going for family harmony. Guess what...the family is just as dysfunctional as it was before. The marriage didn't last, but it might be the only wedding I will ever have and I wish that I had just done it all my way.

Barbara Alys

[Aint Doody]

I'd say go for it, too. You will have the type of memories that you want instead of wishing you'd listened to your heart.

By the way, what was the contest? Will it happen again? I want to enter.