Quote Originally Posted by Irulan View Post
Mom of two in college, I have to make a few comments.

The money thing is in some ways, total BS. The little princes and princesses do NOT have to have the best of everything. There are lots of ways to do really cool things with your kids that do not require a huge outlay.

My nursery was decorated in "garage sale". The designer clothes were handmedowns, as were many of their toys. We skipped the team sports thing. We didn't eat a lot of fast food. We made a lot of trips to the library, skipped the play station....you get the picture. My city has free kids concerts once a month. You just have to get creative.

What if your kid HATES ballet? The boy who is going to want to do it is rare, and I'll caution you right now that forcing what you think a kid should learn can sometimes backfire.

And as for the snowboarding thing....We are a very active outdoors family. When the youngest was 18 mos old, DH joined the ski patrol so we could get family passes. Youngest was on the ski hill on leashes, before he was out of diapers. We did LOTS of camping, family raft trips, ski trips, etc. Sure, it's a ton more work, but when people tell me that their active lifestyle ended with kids... another load of crap. They are just too lazy to figure out how to make it work. That's their choice of course.

And you can take them out of school for a week. We've done it for raft trips ( 10 days in Alaska) and ski trips. They can bring their homework along. The only times this didn't work was when each kid was a senior in HS.

I've got issues with your friend telling you that you NEED to have a kid etc. Granted its become an important part of her life, but that may not be what's right for you.

It's never black and white. So many ways to do it or not do it. Listen to what is right for your family ( which could just be the two of you)
Loved what you wrote. I am 30, will be 31 in a couple months. I never really had the desire to have children, like some ladies here have said, if it happened, cool. If not, whatever. But the last year, my hormones have been in OVERDRIVE. Many of my close girlfriends have had babies, and it's making me want one myself. I have always thought too, about the money issue. Right now, I don't have health insurance. I am unemployed. But I am also a full time student, and will be finishing up my degree in the next year and a half. My husband is also a student and working part time...we get by with student loans, some help from family, and he gets the GI bill, which covers our mortgage and a few other bills. So many of my friends have said nothing can prepare you for having a baby. And you can always make do. Our plan is to try to have one next year, to have it in the summertime so I have time to get used to the baby while not being in school. We definitely have enough $$ for food, diapers, clothes etc, and since we're low income, we will qualify for a lot of state programs to help out with doctor visits. It'll only be until we graduate, where I'm sure we'll be able to find jobs with our own health insurance. I just don't want to have my first child when I'm close to 40. Maybe that's fine for some, but not for me. My mom had my brother when she was almost 40, and it was extremely difficult on her physically and emotionally.

All that being said, I grew up being raised by a single mom and I'm A-OK with thrift stores, garage sales, etc. I actually do most of my shopping that way even as an adult. I'm also a fan of the library, and going on hikes, jogs, etc...my husband and I are very outdoorsy people, and that would definitely be carried over into our new lifestyle with baby. I'm so excited to start a family and bring our relationship to a new level. We both cannot wait, but it'll be another 9 months before we start trying for one. Ackk!