on being a mom

[shootingstar]

I'm 37. I'm not sure if I want to be a mother. All through my childhood and into my late 20's there wasn't a smidge of doubt that I wouldn't have kids. Then during my early 30's I started to question whether I wanted to have children.

I don't have a burning desire to be a mother like some women have. The truth of the matter is, I hate babies. I love kids, around ages 5 and up, but the squirming babies and crying/whining toddlers really does my head in. People insist it's different when it's yours, but I obviously can't comment on that as I don't have one.

Anyone out there who felt like me and was glad you had a child, or should I take my feelings as a red flag and remain childless as I'm too selfish and set in my ways?

And yes, I do have a partner, and he's pretty much in this frame of mind: if it happens, great, if not, oh well.

I don't regret my decision not to have children. I don't have baby envy partially because I am the oldest of 6 with youngest sibling 10 yrs. younger than I. And since parents couldn't afford baby sitters, nearly every day I was expected to be on the look out for at least some of the much younger siblings. Seeing the stress of childrearing on my parents, particularily my mother, probably influenced me a great deal.

It is important to get long-term feelings clear particularily if a woman enters into an intimate relationship with a guy from a lst marriage who already has children.

He has 2 children (30 & 28) who are good responsible adults and fun to be with now. But for first decade or so of knowing him, I chose not to move into his place or vice versa and start being mommy..and you now, my partner is GLAD. It made it easier for him on the days when he had them during those teen years during divorce. Hence, I think the adjustment of the children to me, is better and healthier long-term. My parenting style probably would have been quite different from their mother's , since I have a different personality.

Most generously he has left the decision to me. And said he would suppport me if I really wanted our own child. I thought he was abit Nuts...since he is relieved his major childrearing years are over. The guy must be 100% on side also to have children too. At this time, he regrets abit his little grandson lives in another province. He really would love to pull along grandson in a biker trailer. When his children were young, at that time, cycling was not in his life, farming was his hobby/physical activity on weekends.

I love my honey since obviously he meant if I ever got accidentally pregnant.... Pretty remote since am in perimenopause.. I have been with honey since I was 32.

Truly, my life feels well-rounded with his children and with 6 nieces and nephews via 3 sisters. One thing, I have noticed though, that being childless, means I'm not totally clued in to the passage of time in the same way, a parent experiences due to growing children. So am approaching 50 next yr.