on being a mom

[crazycanuck]

Badger-don't worry if you never have kids! You can spend all that $$$ on bikes & travelling!!! What about a dog? They're probably better than a child & they don't talk back!!!

I too don't like kids. Ugh. AGHGHGHGHGHGH

[Crankin]

When I was young (teens) I really did think I would have kids. Then, when I got married we decided we wouldn't. I was 27 and in a PhD program. I was going to be a "professor" and my life would be filled with that. Then one day I was in the ASU bookstore and I got mesmerized by the books on pregnancy and babies. I had to have one. It was a bit of a long road, since I lost my first baby, but I did have 2 kids.
Truthfully, I was better with them as they grew. Don't mistake me, they were planned and very wanted, but I knew my limits. My husband stayed home with #1 for almost a year and I always joke those were the best days of my life! I always worked and didn't just center my life around the kids. We always had an active social life, too. As they grew, I spent more and more time doing things with my kids. They grew up to be very sociable and emotionally intelligent, wonderful adults. I always say that I must be sort of an OK person, because my kids turned out so well.
So, what I am trying to say is that while a lot of parts of parenting aren't super fun, it is what you make it. What I resented were the "super" parents who just did nothing but focus on their kids. I hated seeing them at sports things or other activities. There were even some of these parents, mostly dads, at the junior level cycling events that my younger son did.

[lph]

I guess what I wanted to say is that you don't have to love babies to love your own, and you don't have to love children in general to be a good mom. It helps, I'm sure, you don't have to learn "child handling" from scratch, and may have more confidence and patience, but it's not necessary. And without too many defined ideas of how to do things you can think outside the box and raise a child with an open mind too.

You'll be fine, no matter what you choose It's the thought that goes into the choice that counts.

[redrhodie]

I made the decision not to have kids, and I'm happy! I'd always rather see my friends alone than with their little monsters. No baby envy here!