When to go to a funeral?

[Pax]

A few of my co-workers braved a blizzard to come to my dads wake last January, it was greatly appreciated.

[Biciclista]

If you think this would be too overwhelming, don't go. I have sent flowers to grieving family members before. I don't know if people do that where you live.

[Serendipity]

I agree with those that suggest you go to the funeral.
Regardless of how this person died, I think the important part is that his family have lost someone very important to them. Your show of support by being there will be appreciated.
Also wouldn't be concerned about falling apart - it's an honest emotion that is as much a part of grieving as celebrating a person's life is.