When to go to a funeral?

[bmccasland]

Lph - I regret not going to a co-worker's funeral - it was a scheduling conflict, not really a choice on my part. Fortunately many from our office were able to go and it was appreciated by his family. There's also the closure aspect that Squirrell discussed. So if it isn't too late, if I was in your shoes, I'd go to the funeral service, and sign the guest book.

But I don't like doing visitations, nor do I like open-casket funerals. I'd like to remember the deceased as a living vibrant person. I really don't need to acknowledge that they're now dead. I'd much rather see a flag / flower drapped coffin and a photograph.

[Pax]

A few of my co-workers braved a blizzard to come to my dads wake last January, it was greatly appreciated.

[Biciclista]

If you think this would be too overwhelming, don't go. I have sent flowers to grieving family members before. I don't know if people do that where you live.

[Serendipity]

I agree with those that suggest you go to the funeral.
Regardless of how this person died, I think the important part is that his family have lost someone very important to them. Your show of support by being there will be appreciated.
Also wouldn't be concerned about falling apart - it's an honest emotion that is as much a part of grieving as celebrating a person's life is.