Christmas Drama

[Flur]

My mother wanted me to come home for Christmas too. She really turned on the guilt machine, which really turned me off. I gave her the laundry list of reasons that I could not come, but that didn't dissuade her for turning up the guilt. Ultimately it just made me angry and I hung up and didn't call her back.

I love my family, but I hate travelling at Christmas and I have valid reasons, like you do, for not going. I don't have a job so we don't have the money. DH has a project going live right around Christmas and can't take a lot of time. Because it's a holiday we have no one available to take our dog, who is not dog-social and can't be left at a kennel. And on and on. But beyond all the valid reasons I just really don't want to, and I've gotten over the guilt by thinking about all the times I did go and was miserable.

Don't feel bad for not going, and you're not alone.

[Mr. Bloom]

I nominate Pardes for President! - Wow!

Smurf, I relate precisely to your issue...and I'm an only child!

[Crankin]

Wow, this makes me glad I don't celebrate Christmas. On the other hand, this advice/situation applies to all obligatory family gatherings.
My dad and brother live in California, so I rarely see them on holidays. I used to get together with my family here for Thanksgiving and Jewish holidays. However, since one of my cousins became very religious and the other is a gun toting ultra conservative, I just couldn't take it. They don't want anything to do with me, anyway! My aunt thinks we are going to get together and all be a big happy group, but it isn't going to happen. She has very strong ideas of how her children, and by extension, me, should act, and i am not that!
We spend all of our holidays with friends, except now, one of those friends seems like a burdensome relative. That's when we sneak off with our cycling friends and go away for some sport type of vacation. Or, we say we are going to a party somewhere else...
The best Thanksgiving I had was last year when I had the dinner. Both of my kids were there, my older son's girlfriend, my former exchange student and his girlfriend, and our cycling friends. These are the people I really care about and it was perfect.
Tuckerville, you made a very wise decision with your son. I see how this is an issue with my son and his girlfriend. After our Thanksgiving dinner last year, they went to her parents, who had forgotten to put the turkey in, and ended up eating again at 10:00 PM. According to her, they are dysfunctional and needy, but she still feels like she should go see them. Yet, about every 4-6 weeks they come here and spend the weekend. I know it's like a vacation in the country for them, but it's fun.
As a counselor in training, I second the counseling proposal. It's hard to break those old patterns without some help.

[GraysonKelly]

I nominate Pardes for President! - Wow!

Smurf, I relate precisely to your issue...and I'm an only child!

I second that nomination!

[Tuckervill]

Lovely, Karen. Just lovely! Every once in a while I come across what I think of as "natural" parents and it warms my heart.

Thanks, Hon. It was a long, bumpy road.

Karen

[Running Mommy]

Baaaah friggin humbug! I just want someone who loves me this much, in zebra please: http://www.intensebmx.com/racebikes/IBK9RPX-1.html

HA! Smurf I have one on the sales floor right now just a waitin for ya!!
It's an 08 and I'll be putting it on sale soon....
Wanna come down for a visit???

I'll have to post a pic of running son's bike. He's got a zebra expert xl (09 version) with a chris king heatset. He even has the matching THE zebra helmet.