When my mother was dying from cancer it was her co-workers that ran support for my family - especially my Dad and when she died at age 53 - it was her co-workers that supported us through the funeral and afterwards - bringing dishes to the house, helping with the out of town family members, etc. Funerals are not easy to attend, but the family does notice who is there. I found great comfort in getting to know some of my Mom’s co-workers - she was also very well liked and respected. Lately, the funerals I have attended have been “celebrations” of the person’s life and not at all the traditional funeral service. I prefer to remember my friends and family the way I remembered them in life and choose to celebrate that memory and the impact they had on my life. Everyone mourns in his or her own way. If you choose not to attend the funeral, then it would certainly be appropriate to send some flowers and write the family a letter and let them know how much she meant to you. I have several letters from my Mom’s friends who could not attend her funeral and I keep them close to my heart after all these years. They told me some very funny stories about her and I cherish those memories. Hugs to you as you mourn your friend - she will live on in your heart and memories.