Thank you, Mimi for your apt comments. KSH, you seem like you know yourself well; but I do agree with Mimi in that very few PEOPLE are happy. People look to others to fulfill their dreams and that isn't going to happen. Most people go into marriage only caring about their dream wedding that they spend zillions on and never give a thought to what comes afterwards. I don't care if you are 19 or 39, but this seems to be the way it is.
I was married to a jerk before I met my husband. I knew the whole time it was wrong, but I still went ahead and did it, because I didn't want to be alone at the age of 22! Most people don't even know that I was married before and my own kids were shocked when they found out.
Everything I did the second time would have predicted disaster (moving in together after a month and getting married after six months) but we are even happier now, after 29 years. We've really never had any rough times, a few bad fights, but mostly we just talk about everything. And, I'm a pretty selfish person, too. But, I've become more caring because my husband proved to me that he was going to stick around no matter what.

Most people around where I live get married between the ages of 35-50. There's lots of first time moms who are in their forties. This presents a whole other bunch of issues; personally, I am glad I didn't wait. I had a job, a graduate degree, and felt like an adult at 26. I wasn't sure if I wanted kids, but when my husband was very close to getting himself "fixed," I suddenly became obsessed with having one. So, I knew that I really did want kids!
Like I said before, while you have to take care of yourself, the marital bond should come before any other relationships. For years my in laws went nuts because they thought I turned my husband into a "snob" because he finished his degree, got a good professional job, and moved back east. In a lot of cases, a husband (or wife) doesn't stand up to his or her parents over stuff like that. There never was a question here. When they learned they couldn't bully us or buy our affection, it calmed down, but never really went away.