Please share: Relationships, Engagement and Marriage

[Ana]

Don't feel pressured to be in a relationship or be married or whatever. If you happen to be happy and single, that's great! but don't feel like you need a boyfriend/husband, because there's nothing worse than being in a relationship with someone who's not right for you.

I completely agree. I am a strong, independent woman and view relationships as something that should enhance and enrich my life. I also very much enjoy doing my own thing My curiosity about others' relationships mostly originated from my contemplative state.

Thank you for sharing!

Keep it coming

[Crankin]

I think Mimi echoed what I already said. The marital relationship has to come before anything... kids, parents, your bike, whatever. Some people dedicate themselves entirely to their kids and then they wonder why there is nothing left in their relationship when they look around 18 years later and they have nothing in common with their spouse. Women feel guilty for taking time for themselves and see it as being selfish. I never felt like that and I recently learned that "self care" is an important concept in counseling. It's emphasized a lot in my course work. If you don't feel good about your own stuff, then your kids do pick up on that.
The best compliment I had was when one of my kids told me that we were an excellent role model for a good marriage. This was after I had told him that our friends were getting a divorce and he was "double checking" to make sure we weren't going to go down the same road. He was 21, so this stuff affects even grown kids. Then, about two hours later, my other son asked me the same thing when I gave him the news about our friends. So, you never know what the kids are observing as you interact with your significant other.

[GraysonKelly]

I can honestly say that I dont know the answer to your questions but I had all of them when my partner and I started dating when I was 22 and she was 21. Our relationship went through a lot of stuff including a 2 year period where we weren't together but still living together (talk about AWKWARD!) When we got back together we learned a lot of stuff that we still remind each other that we learned. This is just the stuff that works for us, I have no idea how others feel about it.
1. We learned that there has to be a me, you, and us to our relationship. I am extremely independent and have lots of interests. She only had me for a very long time. She was too dependent on me for everything in her life and it was extremely stressful.
2. There is need in love and it's okay. For a very long time I didn't get that. due to some issues that I had, I was terrified of needing her at all therefore I kept her at arm's length a lot. It's ok.
3. You can't fight and be hurt unless you love someone.
4. There is no substitute for communication.
When I first fell for her I couldln't imagine anything being more important. When things fell apart, I couldn't imagine anything be more painful.
But we got through it. There was a lot of hurt. A lot of anger. But in the end we did what we didn't do to begin with...we learned. It was a good thing.
I say all the time we are striving to be "imperfectly perfect" In my experience we may not be perfect, but our imperfection make us darn close.
Just know in your heart that you want to make things work and realize that things will change...and that's okay. The important thing is to keep growing and changing as well.
Take care and follow your heart,
Gray

[Presto]

I woke up this morning to discover I'm not married anymore.

If you are married, please take a good look at that precious right. Imagine how you would feel to wake up and discover you were no longer married, despite not one thing changing in your life, your love, or your church.

Appreciate what you have, every moment that you have it.

[Veronica]

I don't get it.

How does your relationship ruin the sanctity of my marriage? Friggin' narrow minded idiots...

As far as I'm concerned, you're still married.

Veronica

[Grog]

I woke up this morning to discover I'm not married anymore.

If you are married, please take a good look at that precious right. Imagine how you would feel to wake up and discover you were no longer married, despite not one thing changing in your life, your love, or your church.

Appreciate what you have, every moment that you have it.

I'm finding this quite insane. *Big hug*

The good news is that your relationship is still there. And might become stronger as a result of this.