I think there have been some fantastic stories here.

If I look back on failed relationships, I'd say I knew they'd fail beforehand only I didn't acknowledge it. As I started figuring out what I wanted in my life, I started looking at those "this person is perfect only..." thoughts as warnings.

I never did think marriage was a necessity. I'm really good with life as it is (or was good with life as it was) and am more the independent sort. Right back around the time I met DH though I was really tired of dating. I went to a LOT of fun places but I guess I wanted normalcy and quiet time and just to be myself around someone. After a night of frustration (it was at work, I worked graveyard) I got home and e-mailed a friend. I told him that my life would be perfect if he found me a guy who worked where he worked. It was my birthday, I was living in a strange/different city where I didn't know anyone really, and the e-mail was very uncharacteristic. My friend said he knew someone who would be perfect for me. Turns out, DH had heard about me too.

After relationships filled with drama, I have found that this relationship is peaceful. We have fun. We trust each other. We are friends.

More than having shallow things in common (ie liking the same type of food), we feel the same way about commitment, goals, and what we want from marriage and a relationship. We have a mix of responsibility (no kids, just five cats and a house) and juvenile antics.

There is never a reason to rush into anything. When it is right, you know.

I can't say that we've had obstacles that have destroyed our relationship. As far as things enhancing it, I'm not that difficult to please. DH said he'd run a race with me (he's not a runner) and I am positively giddy with excitement. DH is pretty appreciative when I remember to pick up my shoes. While there IS romance in relationships, it's the little things that are the best and are the most romantic. I think people who write romance novels wouldn't appreciate it but I do and DH does.

Lastly, I read a quote once about marriage and about how you wouldn't disown a parent or grandparent because you "grew apart". While I was married before DH, the same mindset wasn't with that person. I do realize that people DO grow apart but it was important to me to know that if I got remarried, the person I married would realize that it went a bit beyond dating. It was really great meeting someone (also previously married) that felt as I did. The point of it all is our relationship is important to each of us and we will do what it takes to nurture it. We also have the commitment to stay together. There is so much calmness in that.

I'm still really sucky about picking up my shoes. DH is the better person. Between cat boxes that he cleans (I was the cat woman) and shoes (he built me a room for shoes so you'd think I could put them away) and everything else he does, I am incredibly lucky. When you're ready, I hope for the same for you Good relationships can only enhance who you are, they don't define it.