The only thing that really bothers me is her not wearing a helmet. Maybe you can tell her your policy is to only sell it to a responsible helmet wearer?
Tried that - it was going nowhere. At some point I felt naggy. You know that "there is some sort of wall between me and this other person on this topic" feeling? It is a personal choice, I guess, however much I don't want it to be. She does ride a motorcycle, and does wear a helmet then, but that is the law.

Maybe I will suggest meeting at the LBS one day. Even if they don't have anything her size (you'd be amazed at the in-stock selection of road bikes around here - the one I bought was only ordered because my DH mentioned to them that I'd been ogling it online.), they could give some fit suggestions. They could suggest a stem, set the saddle height, etc - or else tell her if it just isn't right.

I think a lot of my problem here is my own bike snobbery - the pedals are the choice of the rider, the carbon fiber frame is fun to ride. The only valid concern on my list is the size.

Thanks, guys. Your input is appreciated. And thanks for not calling me a huge elitist snob !