Living in Egypt , near denial... or I'm ready to quit

[shootingstar]

I have a very difficult class this year.

The three English Language Learners...

..................................

Oh... and these are kids in the 'burbs, not inner city children.

Veronica

May I ask, are the ESL students main learning difficulties primarily ESL or is it combined with acculturation / adaptation issues that result in spin-off difficult behaviours in the classroom?

ah.....I was an ESL student from kindergarten to gr. 2.
An interesting (but not uncommon) story about 2 children of a cousin of mine. They immigrated from mainland China when they were each 6 & 8 years old with their parents. The family lived with me for the lst 4 months when I was attending university. During the lst 2 wks., the children were wild at home, nearly destructive. They were totally unfamiliar with their surroundings. They were raised in rural China and 'day-care' consisted of throwing the children all in a fenced area with very few toys or play equipment...near the commune.

The 8 yr. old boy was place 2 grades LOWER than his normal grade level. So was his brother.

Happy to report that the 8 yr. old boy is a university engineering graduate who became a middle manager at a major telecommunications firm, happily married with 1 daughter.

His brother also completed university.


Their parents made their boys study hard...after school.

I hope you already have had some positive cases/"graduates" given the fact you've been doing this difficult teaching for a number of years! Sad that in some cases, it does also require parent(s) to change their parenting style and spend more time with a child but when not much happens in that area so pressure is on teachers to cope. Good you pointed out the kids are from the 'burbs'. It's annoying when people talk about 'inner city" schools in a sort of prejorative way...when some of the kids just turn out fine/great.

[Biciclista]

good points, Shootingstar.
Neither of my sons ever completed the "timed addition tests"
that the teachers were constantly giving them. Instead they were chewing their crayons or annoying other children. All of my sons' teachers knew us personally, and i was always acquainted with the principals and vice principals of each school. More than once my sons were punished by not allowing them to partake in recess; the one thing they looked forward all day, many days during their elementary education.
Much later, both of my sons loved calculus and one of them is now a grad student studying pure math. I feel sorry for teachers who have to teach a curriculum that bores children to tears.

[Crankin]

Veronica, I have been there. I am not sure what to say. I know it seems like you don't have the support from other adults in your building who should be helping you. But, it seems like this is the way life is now a days. I mean, if you take any class of 20 kids, you are going to have at least 5 on IEPs, 2-3 with ADD, a couple of really gifted kids, and at least one, maybe two or three really bad behavior issues. Oh, and then there are the kids with dysfunctional home situations. I also taught in the suburbs, with a number of kids with ELL issues, too.
What I am saying is that there is no "normal" anymore.
I would have definitely had a conference with the mother of the kid with the "Christian values," and had the school counselor or principal with me as I showed her the cootie catcher. Yes, there are some parents who just don't believe what their kids are doing. I once had a parent tell me she was going to pray for me so I would be able to deal with her kid!
And this stuff is everywhere. I remember when we moved to Boxborough about 12 years ago; we had been living in more of a blue collar town, where the schools were just OK. We saved and scrimped so our kids could live in an outstanding school district. After the first day of school, my older son who was in 7th grade came home and said,"They came from the mental institution and took someone away, out of my math class." The kid had tried to set his house on fire with his parents inside! The next day there was a drug bust in the cafeteria.
I am glad that I am not teaching anymore. I was not burned out, but I was tired. And this was in a school district with excellent support and the most professional people I have ever worked with. Whoever said it was parenting skills was mostly correct. I can't believe the amount of teaching I had to do with parents; like telling them it was OK to take away the video games and the Internet.

[Mr. Bloom]

V,

I seem to recall from prior posts that either your school or your teaching engagement is in a situation that has a disproportionate ratio of difficult or at risk kids...but even if I'm wrong about that, all I can say is that I'm glad that you care despite these challenges. I only want to affirm you and others like you and encourage you to continue doing a great job.

Teaching gives you broad access to the worst that humanity has to offer, but you are a catalyst for good

[Veronica]

Funny, I don't punish kids for chewing on their own crayons, or for not knowing material. In fact I don't think I've taken recess away from anyone yet this year. Last year I had to take recess away from a kid because he would not stop calling the girls nasty names and stirring up other trouble. He lost his recess permanently and worked with a first grade class as a helper during his recesses.

I do punish kids for deliberately annoying other children and for destroying other people's property.

It's always interesting to hear people's anecdotes about one or two children - usually their own. Bear in mind that I have around 30 children in my classroom and I have worked with over 500 different 10 year olds in my teaching career. I have had ADD types of all sorts. Not every kid with ADD is exactly the same.

Veronica

[OakLeaf]

+1. Well said, Mr. S. I honestly believe that elementary school teacher is the most important job in the world. This isn't the first time I've said that. Yours, V., is the job on which everything else depends.

As a last resort, can you maybe look for work at a private school? I know it's a cop-out in a way, but it would let you enjoy the best of your work, still do really important work, and avoid the worst of it. My mom's a fourth-grade teacher, has been since 1972 (since '74 at the private school) and she just ADORES her work. I used to say they'd have to pry her cold dead body out of the classroom, except that now she says she wants to be a classroom skeleton after she's gone

[Andrea]

Veronica-

You sound like a great teacher. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise

I had (ok, still have) ADD. It made learning difficult (and it still makes some things difficult to this day), but what it DIDN'T make difficult was knowing what my parents taught me about right and wrong. So many parents now will make excuses for their child's horrible behavior just because he or she has ADD. There's only so much bad behavior you can attribute to ADD.

[Tuckervill]

It's not the parents and it's not the teachers. It's the institution. An institution that groups large numbers of same-age children in one place is unnatural for children, and prohibits and inhibits natural growth that would otherwise occur in a multi-generational family, and their larger community. No one can be blamed individually for the problems that the idea of mass-produced education has inflicted on our society, and which have infiltrated our families in insidious ways.

It's good for a society to have an educated populace. The institution as it has evolved to be has become unwieldy and is past its usefulness. Yes, I say, abandon it. Or at least don't be afraid to consider ways to the same end.

Learnin' happens.

Karen

[Biciclista]

I agree, you do sound like a great teacher. However, I am not really sure that CHILDREN have changed that much. Is it better or worse that kids with behavior problems now come with paperwork? When I was a kid, the teacher got 35 surprises in their classroom every september. Sure, the worse kids came with a reputation, incorrigible, delinquent, retarded. But not all of them, and there were no "tools" with how to deal with them except maybe a stick!

Hang in there, you're making the world a better place.

[Andrea]

... 35 surprises in their classroom every september...

I feel similar to this when I get my 50+ new college students every semester- I can only imagine what it would be like with children!!!

[beccaB]

I have no doubt that inactivity makes ADHD and other issues much worse. The problems become magnified on the school bus, which does not bring out the best in most children.

[solobiker]

I wasn't offended.

I was actually replying to Mimi's thing about taking them for a walk. It would be nice it were so simple. Anger management kid would probably try to beat up someone on the way.

I really wonder about parenting these days... or lack thereof.

My mother never assumed any of my teachers had it in for me. If I got in trouble (and I DID!) she always took the teacher's side. And if I had written any of those words or said any of those words in a teacher's hearing... I would have been in so much trouble.

But I guess the parents use those words in front of their children now, so they think it's okay.

Veronica

My mom was the same way. Gosh, if I ever wrote anything close to those words I would be in far more trouble at home then at school. I have heard many young parents using that type of language and do not seem to care how it filters down to their kids. I do not know how you do it...I be frustrated most of the time I am sure. Granted, I do not have any children so I can not speak from experience but from my observations it seems like kids just don't have the respect that they used to have when I was growing up. Hang in there V they need great people like you in their lives.

[Meaux]

I have so much respect for teachers. They do so much, and so little compensation, at least monetarily. I thought about going into teaching, but didn't know if I could survive it. Kudos to all you teachers!

[GLC1968]

V - I'm so impressed with what you do. I know that I could never do it!

While I'm sure you have plenty of days that just make you want to pull your hair out (or quit), know that you DO make a difference. I think that if I were ever to teach, I'd pick 4th, 5th or 6th grade. This is mostly because of my own experience, but I had 2 of the best teachers in my life during those years and two of the worst. And I still remember all 4 of them (I moved mid year - hence the 4) with vivid recollection. In fact, some of what the good ones taught me remain with me to this day.

So I'm with Mr S - "you are a catalyst for good" - thank you for that!

[michelem]

Good luck to you, Veronica! I hope you find your passion for working in this field again, or are able to find a suitable change. Good thing you have cycling for stress relief!