Frustrated!!

[Aggie_Ama]

Thanks for the virtual hugs, I feel like I am on a pity party but I like Miranda I just thought I wouldn't see these again and not so soon after my neuro claimed me to be in remission!

About my friend.... Really he is a sweet guy we see a couple times a year. When the first flare of the tremors happened DH was interning away, my friend took me for margaritas (alcohol supposedly helps but not me), to a movie, anything to cheer me up. But being just a friend he wasn't there when I was crying my eyes out because I couldn't control it and he wasn't there when my mother drug me to Baylor because she was scared of how depressed I got. He is just the type that sometimes is a jerk and would die if he knew it hurt. It actually was a little smirk inducing, I couldn't keep the ice in my drink from clanking. But yes anyone else would have really hurt and if I put him in his place for it he would have felt terrible. I still should have told him where to go, he and I even talked about it being back but I just don't think he always connects with sensitivity. There are people you can excuse, this is one of the few but only this once.

Sarah- Yep I had complete strangers ask me if everything was okay. Tell me to take a deep breath and it would pass. Doesn't work that way like Beth said I can't tell my hand or leg to stop! I hope your friend is able to find something for hers. I read an excellent book she might look into "I Can't Stop Shaking". I got it through www.wemove.org, a fabulous resource for movement disorders. Both really helped me before because I didn't know anyone else with this and was desperate to hear it wasn't just me even if I felt like it.

Tulip- I am trying to stay off valium or getting primidone until I go to the neuro. I have never seen a competent one when I was completely drug free. I plan to write (or type depending on how bad they get) my questions so I can't forget a one. Like why on earth is this weight correlated and what new meds are out there.

We had discussed Botox but he would send me back to Baylor for that because he doesn't feel anyone in Austin in qualified to do it on my dominant hand. But that isn't a guarantee and it is hard to get insurance to cover. My mom said just no deep brain stimulation which is a scary treatment for the worst conditions.

[emily_in_nc]

I am so sorry for what you are going through -- I can't even imagine how frustrating and embarrassing that would be. I know it would be very upsetting to me!

As for comments from well-meaning friends, it's so hard to know what to say in situations like this. I work with a great guy who has hand tremors, and to be honest, I have no idea why. From time to time he'll comment on his terrible handwriting or that his hand is shaking, but I'm too shy to ask him why -- don't want to say something insensitive or nosy or to pry, though I am curious. He's been like this for years, and it doesn't appear that it's gotten worse, but no better either.

I sincerely hope that you can get to the bottom of your condition and find an appropriate treatment that doesn't leave you with terrible side effects. I really feel for you!

[Tuckervill]

My mom's hands shake some, but it's because she's an alcoholic. So, you know, there are lots of reasons it can happen, so I wouldn't pry, either. What I do when I encounter a situation like that is ask, "Can I help with that?" whatever the task may be. Like I offer to open doors for people in wheelchairs (or moms with strollers), and I offer to help little old ladies who can't reach the top shelf in the grocery store (I usually volunteer my husband or my son for that one cuz I'm short, too). I don't just DO it without asking, though. Otherwise, it's none of my business why my friend/coworker/stranger has an obvious tremor/wheelchair/shortness.

If they want to tell me, as a result of my offering, then I might then be willing to listen. Of course, if I had a good friend with an obvious tremor, I'd be really concerned about her health and have to ask about it. It'd be my duty as her friend.

Karen

[Aggie_Ama]

Yup my dad's mom shakes because she used to drink a handle of Jim Beam every couple days. She adopted my dad so it isn't the missing link to my tremor. Just a sad old lady with alzheimers and addiction.

Emily- My mom works with someone like your co-worker. Now she wonders but doesn't ask him either. It is the fine line of being concerned or just making them feel so small because you noticed. I would prefer 9/10 times that no one says a word.

[emily_in_nc]

Emily- My mom works with someone like your co-worker. Now she wonders but doesn't ask him either. It is the fine line of being concerned or just making them feel so small because you noticed. I would prefer 9/10 times that no one says a word.

Yeah, that's my thought and why I haven't said anything. But the fact that he's mentioned his tremor several times almost makes me wonder if he *wants* me to ask -- like he wants to talk about it.

I know he drinks, but hopefully not to the extent that it would cause tremors like he has. He's a good worker, been married for years, and very dependable, not the type you'd imagine to be a serious alcoholic, but I'm sure in some cases you just never know what's going on at home....so I'll keep my mouth shut.

[Miranda]

Oh, hun... that totally sux about waiting so long for the doc. I understand the frustration. Been there too. "Umm, hello! my life is feeling like I"m falling apart here, could you work me in, PLEASE"... yea, bleah. I've tried to be on the cancel list before and kept calling to check in. Once in a while it works. Usually everyone is fighting to get in. I'm sorry some of the things at home are not so supportive. THAT I can relate to very well. It hurts big time. (((hugs))) Miranda

[Aggie_Ama]

Miranda- Thanks for the suggestion on the cancel list, my neuro does indeed do this. I called and placed my name on it, don't expect to get in sooner but any hope helps. This is the road I was on last time, started to get worse and I got very upset waiting to see the neuro.