When I got my Voler shorts, they used the same pad for men's and women's. Honestly, the pad wasn't the problem with them. Rather, the butt in the women's was too curvy, which then got saggy. With the bibs, I'd have to order up a size to get the straps to fit. Men's XS is tall enough and small enough in the hips and butt. I did use my BF's men's S skinsuit a lot this year. It was a little big (with some chamois shifting issues), but it worked out ok in the cold cold races, because I could easily fit one warm LS baselayer on underneath, and for a race in 34 degrees and 30mph winds, I managed 2--one underarmour heatgear LS baselayer and one coldgear. hah. It was plenty tall for me at 5'7" and change, so XS would be ideal.
Another problem I have with women's bibs in general (such as with Hincapie or ChampionSystems) is that the pad is often really really wide in the middle, which gives it (even when thin) an awful super maxipad kind of feeling. Men's ones are a bit narrower, and while I sometimes have a problem getting enough cushion on my sit bones, there's less bunching going on in the middle. That and with extra curvy cuts (often putting me between an XS and S) and too short inseams for my liking on the women's shorts, I go with men's. Men's jerseys also fit me better, so maybe I'm abnormal.




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