Its over . . . now I am riding solo

[Zen]

There are many good guys out there yet to find

Where? I'm still looking...

I did most things alone most of my life because I'm pretty picky when it comes to men ... but still seemed to pick some jerks!...

This sounds so familiar!

... riding alone is better than riding with the wrong partner.

An all-round aphorism if there ever was one

[Trek420]

The advantage to riding by yourself is you can do it whenever it's convenient to you, you don't need to schedule anything.
vickie

And so it's time to revisit a thread I started back in the day when I was single:

http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showthread.php?t=2534

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Biking does not have to be connected to finding romance....biking is a wonderful thing in itself, no matter whether you ride alone, with a pal, or with a significant other. Biking is just plain GOOD no matter how you do it.
Bike because it is healthy and makes you feel good both physically and spiritually. Bike for you, and life will be better in many unexpected ways.

[SouthernBelle]

Next nice day off stick some food, drink and a good book in your backpack and head out on a ride in a direction you've never been before. Stop if you get tired or hungry or see something neat. Take a nap under a tree. Sing like an idiot. Practice riding hands-free. Whistle at a cute guy. Go fast. Go slow.

[cattygrrl]

Biking does not have to be connected to finding romance....biking is a wonderful thing in itself, no matter whether you ride alone, with a pal, or with a significant other. Biking is just plain GOOD no matter how you do it.
Bike because it is healthy and makes you feel good both physically and spiritually. Bike for you, and life will be better in many unexpected ways.

Very good points from BleeckerSt_Girl! If, somehow, you find a new s/o while doing something you both enjoy, though, it seems even better!

[jesvetmed]

Southern Belle: I LOVE how you think! This is my nature -- it's why I don't get much accomplished on my days off!

Blue: Welcome, and sorry about your new status as "single". But, you will soon find that you'll be just fine. You'll actually be better. Keep riding, be selfish.... And everyone is right -- this is a great group full of encouragement, kind words and advice. And sometimes just good for a roll-on-the-floor-laugh.

[gingerale]

I'm sorry. I ride alone, too, even though I'm married. DH is a runner with no desire to ride with me. But for me, I know it's different because I have dh and 2 kiddos so that alone time on my bike is precious to me. LOL!

I wish you many fun, beautiful rides ahead and I hope you find a new riding partner very soon.

[SouthernBelle]

I'm not always lazy. I've spent much of today picking walnuts up in the back yard. Dayum there's a lot

[Flur]

Back in the day I met a runner. He was a marathoner - when he said he was going to run to the corner and back, he meant the corner of town, not the street! After we moved in together I started to get into running. When we split, I was lost. But I kept running. I ran when I missed him. I ran when I had nothing to do. I ran to fill the void in my life. I don't know what I would have done with myself without running. I never did turn into a distance runner, and I no longer run (knee issues) but it served it's purpose in my life.

Now I'm married and in theory I have someone to do everything with, but I still do a lot of stuff on my own. DH rides a fixie so going out for a ride means different things to us. Regardless of the fact that DH loves to ride, I still consider riding MY thing, the thing that I do for myself because I love it. And I love riding on my own because I can decide where I want to go, how fast I want to go, etc. Once you make something your own, it doesn't really matter who you do it with.

[shootingstar]

Good that there are posters here with stories who are married/coupled, but ride alone or not with partner who's interested in other stuff.

I think what keeps he and I from losing our patience with one another if ie. a) he has to stop to wait for me because I'm slower or b) he goes off on cycling trips by himself...

is one remind ourselves this:

It's RARE that a couple will both love cycling so much and will each cycle lots. Shared and active cycling passion, is NOT the norm at all among most couples. It would be nice if it was, but it isn't.

He and I consider ourselves our mutual love to cycle after all these years, just a real blessing, icing on the cake.

So for myself, would I reject a guy if he didn't cycle? No. But minimally I would want him in terms of lifestyle and health, to care and consciously do some healthy activities outside of me, even if it wasn't cycling.

[makbike]

Hey, MAKBIKE, did you meet the new BF on a bike, also? I've seen you make a couple references to him.

In any case, glad you found someone!

No actually we met online. He was a cyclist years ago and now is itching to return to the bike. He has a bike picked out and hopefully he will return to riding within the month. I'm looking forward to sharing some of my favorite roads with him and offering words of encouragement. He has been very supportive of my quest to ride 30 centuries this season. He is a great guy and I'm feeling pretty darned blessed. Life is good, very good!

[Tokie]

I started riding as a hobby when I got divorced and was able to move to the same town where I work instead of spending 1.5 hrs a day commuting. I rode by myself alot. finally a girl from work who knew what she was doing told me about lycra bike shorts. Later that year, she told me about a local "metric century" ride - I finally trained up to doing 30 mile rides (by myself still!). I did the whole ride and cried so hard going up the climb to the finish that I almost couldn't breathe. It was a rite of passage for me to becoming whole after my divorce, such a huge accomplishment doing that metric century all on my own! Later that year I did a 3 day ride for the Lung Association and met a great friend there, through whom I eventually met my husband! (of course, he dated her first when we both met him on a ride, but that's another story!) I recommend joining cycling clubs and charitable rides (MS, American Lung,Leukemia,etc). Cycling is a very social sport once you get into it. I dated 2 cyclists I met just by saying "hi" and smiling as I rode by! And my best girlfriends are women I've met through cycling too! The people at your local bike shops may be able to recommend a group in your area that has a regular weekly ride that would match your skills and interests. Hang in there! I'm glad you're planning on moving forward with your love of cycling - that's good place to start! tokie

[Crankin]

I guess that I'm unusual in that my husband and I ride together. It didn't start that way, but he was unbelievably patient with me and before I knew it, he slowed down a bit and I got a bit faster. I still ride alone for short week day rides and so does he (commuting mostly). I ride with a friend once in awhile and do group rides, but not so much anymore on the group rides because the lack of riding etiquette gets to me.
I know I would continue riding if my husband wasn't here, but I don't apologize for wanting to be with him most of the time. Life is too short and I feel unbelievably lucky to have a spouse that i would rather be with than anyone else.

[tennisgirl43]

I ride with my husband sometimes, and sometimes with friends, and yesterday with my son and daughter-in-law, but I have to admit that the more I ride, the more I find I enjoy riding alone the most. I love to be able to go my speed, stop and enjoy the scenery (and take pics!) when I want to, and just, well, be with ME for a while.

I never really thought I'd like riding alone so much, but it's become something I look forward to immensely and do a few times a week.

Right now, for you, cycling is connected with memories of your ex-boyfriend. The more you cycle, the more these memories will fade and it will become YOUR sport.

I second the idea of finding riding clubs in your area, and also suggested checking on Meetup.com. I've met some neat people from Atlanta through a group on there. The cool thing I find about cycling is that almost everyone you meet is super friendly. I've played tennis for years, and run, etc., but I've never met a nicer group of people than the cyclists I've met!

Good luck!

[chicago]

Very good points from BleeckerSt_Girl! If, somehow, you find a new s/o while doing something you both enjoy, though, it seems even better!

If I were to do it all over again, I would not waste the time I did dating guys who did not like the same things I did. My current boyfriend is a blessing. We love so much of the same things, and it's great. We both love to run, bike, go to the gym, etc, etc...and we are both so open to trying any new sport. It's so much nicer having a boyfriend who hangs with you... at least that's my feelings. I just told my Mom the other day "I think Jimmy is the first guy I dated that actually likes hanging with me", LOL!! Sad that at 45yo I finally figured out what's important in a guy and what makes a relationship fun

That's just my .02