Sometimes it's hard to be the woman. We are simply not built as strong as men (typically). So, when we ride bikes with them, it is absolutely not fair that they get to ride faster, possibly even if they're not in very good shape. Yet, we have to work hard to keep up and get mentally discouraged.

I was enticed by the idea of cycling years ago, but I think think the idea of getting out on the road with cars and all that freaked me out a bit too much. And clipping in? No thank you!

My dh sucked me into his great love for cycling by talking me into getting a tandem road bike. This was both extra freaky, because I had to completely trust him, yet strangely comforting, because .... I basically DID trust him. I knew he was a strong and safe rider. And he told me over and over again (when I'd panic about something) that he rides even more cautiously with me than he does on his own. I have to remind myself of that when we're flying down a hill at 40 mph or about to take a turn at a relatively high speed, or approaching an intersection that I feel like we should already be slowing for, yet we're not.

Anyways, I was lucky to learn the ropes of road biking by riding on the back of a tandem. It wasn't long before I was itching to get my own road bike and, when I did, I was almost immediately out riding it on my own, my first "long" ride being 20 miles a couple of days after I got it. (Remember, I had been riding the tandem, so I was comfortable on my own a LOT faster than I otherwise would have been.)

So, as far as you getting used to your bike, yes ... go at your own comfort level. Find other people closer to your level to ride with if at all possible. Tell your dh to keep it in his big ring and enjoy the scenery when he's with you. My dh doesn't ride with me that often unless we're on the tandem, but when he does, and we're on a hill, his goal is to get up the hill on his big ring with the lowest heart rate possible. I'm huffing and puffing and going 5 times slower than he would be were he going his usual pace. But he does it for fun every now and then.

Lately, we were able to do two back to back rides together where he wasn't going nearly so slow. He "pulled" me and two other friends of ours down to the beach and back, 66 miles, at an 18 mph average. While this was a killer hard ride for me, it was a moderate ride for him, yet he enjoyed it. It wasn't nearly as slow as he has had to go with me in the passed. I got stronger, just as you will. Things DO get better!

I do highly recommend you consider a tandem, by the way. It really is a great way for you and your dh to ride together at your own levels. You can both push at your own exertion level and stay together.

Lastly, our club has a women's only ride, where it's basically beginner to intermediate women, who don't ride so fast. It's possible there is a group like this in your area. Lately, I'm blessed to have a friend (that sucked into riding) and we ride together two to three times a week. We're right about exactly the same level. It's wonderful.