"I'm convinced she just needs to find the right teacher, who can explain the technique to her without getting her all confused."

SO true. Girl, its all about finding a coach who you connect with. My first coach at the Y was good and helpful but moved away. Then I hired a life guard who had been watching me struggle for months in the pool and just started giving me pointers. WOW, what a difference! Even though he's just a high school kid he makes me feel so comfortable and so far I have taken 4 minutes off my sprint swim time!

Don't be embarassed to try different coaches. Eventually one of them will connect with your learning style. Different strokes, different folks Plus, at the Y private lessons are cheap (mine are 4/$80)....