Honestly how often do you clean...

[Crankin]

SFA, I don't think you would be "the wicked witch of the west" for asking your husband to cut down a bit on his volunteering. Yes, it's admirable, but your family's needs (and cleaning is a household need) should come before that. It might be a hard conversation to have, but it sounds like that if he is a person who can commit to helping others so much, he would have an open mind to this type of conversation.
I know other people here talked about resenting the fact that they had to help with cleaning chores as kids. I never did, but during the time when we didn't have cleaning help, I did ask my kids to help a bit. They were young (5 and 8) and it lasted for about 2-3 years. I made it a game and we did our work together, at the same time. After that, I expected them to keep their rooms clean (no food left there, garbage) and all of the clutter picked up the night before the cleaning people came. When they turned 13, they had to do their own laundry and put it away. That was a major help, since both of them and my husband wear the same size and we were forever mixing up the socks, underwear, and T shirts.

[OakLeaf]

I had an interesting conversation with my mom about that a couple of weeks ago.

She was under the impression that us kids grew up sloppy because she didn't make us do chores.

Our recollection (all three of us) is that whenever we tried to do something, she immediately took over because we were doing things in our imperfect kid way. Lesson = if it's not going to be absolutely perfect, don't even bother to try. As far as what happened when our dad was supervising and we didn't do something perfectly... well I don't even want to go into that.

I really struggle with being able to do things half-assed (i.e. the normal way that most people do them). Cleaning the bathroom one fixture at a time really helps me with that. It's a lot easier to devote an hour to getting the toilet spotless, or two hours for the shower and tub, than it is to find (or want to find!) an uninterrupted bloc of time to get a whole bathroom perfect.

[Smilie]

It's a lot easier to devote an hour to getting the toilet spotless, or two hours for the shower and tub, than it is to find (or want to find!) an uninterrupted bloc of time to get a whole bathroom perfect.

What?! You spend an HOUR just on the toilet? Yikes. I have a hard time cleaning anything for an hour. I Keep a spray bottle of water mixed with a few drops of bleach (which is all you need) and spritz the sink, toilet and shower every day. Or at least the shower spritzing once a week!

Sheets weekly, towels once or twice a week. Face washcloths daily-after I read that you get break outs from your bacteria infested wash cloths.

[carpaltunnel]

if it's not going to be absolutely perfect, don't even bother to try.

Oakleaf, boy can I identify with that! My stepmother used to make us clean the whole house every Saturday, and chores after school. Everything had to be perfect or you really caught it. One of my jobs was to clean the cement steps to the basement. I had to sweep it with a broom twice, then with a dust mop once to get the last of the dust, then scrub it on my hands and knees with a rag and a bucket of soapy water, then rinse it with a clean rag & water. I did this every Saturday, in addition to other chores. I've hated cleaning ever since.

I saw a sign on the side of a bus in Minneapolis last weekend, something like "You don't have to enjoy cleaning to be happy while your'e doing it". It made me realize that the woman I hated and haven't seen for 48 years (since my dad divorcede her) still has a little control over me. I can enjoy doing my little household chores if I want to. It's my home, and I enjoy it so I can enjoy tidying it up.(That's not to say I'm going to go overboard about cleaning any time soon. )

[Dogmama]

Dull people have immaculate homes.