Mr. Silver, my husband is also more anal about cleaning than me (although I am pretty neat and clean). I always joke that I married him because he was the only single guy I met who had a vacuum!
SFA, my advice is to hire a cleaning lady. Even if you can afford it only one a month or twice a month. Maybe you can find a college student who could help. That way, it's easier to keep up in between. And you can spend your free time doing things with your kids (or riding). And, I hate to ask, but is your husband doing his part?