CC - I highly recommend taking some sort of defensive driving class. And the comforting part is that you'll only risk hitting pylons during the training. When I had a front tire blow-out (at 75 mph), it was the ingrained "guide the rocket" and "no sharp turns" training I had a long time ago that kept me from flipping. The CHP officer was amazed that I didn't crash. I wrote the fire department where I had the driver's ed class (when I worked for them) to tell them that skills I learned in class years ago probably saved my life.

I think practicing on things that won't leave marks (like soft plastic pylons) will build confidence.

Secondly, take a deep breath, give yourself time. Breathe in, breathe out. Calm....

Feeling lost - can you do some route finding on your bike? How about taking a map, pick two points and figure out how to get between the two, then do it on your bike? We know bike riding is fun, so you shouldn't be as stressed about the concept of riding, and if you need to stop to figure out if you should take a turn or continue straight, it's a heck of a lot easier to get out of the way of traffic on a bike than on a car. Once you feel confident route finding on you bike, then pick further points and do it in your car. For me, writing down the directions - LEFT here, two stop signs, RIGHT at the next stop sign helps get the route in my head. Imagine giving one of us directions to your house from the nearest airport or train station.

And it's OK to be temporarily misplaced in the space-time-continuium.