"Tomboy"...old-fashioned word?

[GLC1968]

I was called a Tomboy. I used to ask why it was tomBOY and not tomGIRL.

I was into and good at most sports. I climbed trees and picked up snakes and got dirty. I had LEGOs and Tonka trucks. I also wore dresses and played with Barbies. I didn't learn how to 'flirt' with boys until I was a senior in high school. Up until then, I was too preoccupied with just beating them at everything. But I liked jewelry, and hair ribbons and princess movies/stories. And then I liked driving the go-cart and throwing a football (in a perfect spiral, of course).

I think I was a 'gender confused' child? Or maybe just a true jack of all trades.

Either way, I never thought 'tomboy' was a bad thing. Of course, I don't think 'girly girl' is a bad thing either. I'm living proof that one woman can be both.

[Iris616]

I was called a Tomboy. I used to ask why it was tomBOY and not tomGIRL.

Funny... I used to ask the same thing. But I forgot about that until you mentioned it... Maybe I'll have to start calling DD a Tomgirl!

[mimitabby]

Bikerhen, you reminded me. When I was about 11 or 12 years old, some well meaning person bought me a tight skirt and fashionable sweater top. THis was when i was still wearing courduroy pants with an elastic and pullover tops.
(I wore a uniform to school and little girl dresses on holidays)
I asked my mother if i had to wear the stuff. Nope, she said...

[RoadRaven]

Yup... tomboy is a time-bound statement from gendered societal expectations.

I was a tomboy, my daughter did the same kind've stuff I did, was was just another girl... Its one positive improvement in society over the past 30 years.

If you get a chance, listen to the song "When I was a Boy" by Dar Williams.
It gives a great explaination/feeling of tom-boyish-ness and society's expectations for girls - and also for boys... She's explaining what she could do when she was a 'boy', but how now she is a grown woman, society constrains her behaviour. Very clever and a very pretty, easy tune to listen to.
Lyrics below.

I won’t forget when Peter Pan came to my house, took my hand.
I said I was a boy, I’m glad he didn’t check.
I learned to fly. I learned to fight. I lived a whole life in one night.
We saved each other’s lives out on the pirate deck.
And I remember that night when I’m leaving a late night with some friends
And I hear somebody tell me it’s not safe, someone should help me.
I need to find a nice man to walk me home.
When I was a boy, I scared the pants off of my mom
Climbed what I could climb up on
And I don’t know how I survived, I guess I knew the tricks that all boys knew
And you can walk me home, but I was a boy too.

I was a kid that you would like, just a small boy on her bike
Riding topless, yeah, I never cared who saw.
My neighbour came outside to say, “Get your shirt,” I said “No way,
it’s the last time I’m not breaking any law.”
And now I’m in a clothing store, and the signs say Less is More
More that’s tight means more to see, more for them, not more for me
That can’t help me climb a tree in ten seconds flat.
When I was a boy, see that picture? That was me.
Grass-stained shirt and dusty knees.
And I know things have gotta change, they got pills to sell, they’ve got implants to put in, they’ve got implants to remove
But I am not forgetting
That I was a boy too.

And like the woods where I would creep, it’s a secret I would keep
Except when I’m tired, except when I’m being caught off guard.
I’ve had a lonesome awful day, the conversation finds it way
To catching fireflies out in the backyard.
And I tell the man I’m with about the other life I’ve lived
And I say now you’re top gun, I have lost and you have won
And he says, “ Oh no, oh no, can’t you see
when I was a girl, my mom and I, we always talked
I picked flowers everywhere that I walked.
And I could cry all the time, now even when I’m alone I seldom do
And I have lost some kindness,
But I was a girl too.
And you were just like me, and I was just like you.”

[Biciclista]

Road Raven, thanks for the wonderful song. I never heard of it, but the words are wonderful.

[Crankin]

I guess I was a tomboy when I was very young (4-8 years old). I had all this play military equipment, a tent, and I used to make all of the boys in the neighborhood march behind me as I barked out orders to them (no wonder my son joined the Marines ). I was always outdoors, playing in the woods, streams, etc. I loved nature. But, I was a klutz and not good at sports. I did ice skating, but it was not that fun for me. I DID ride my bike a lot, though. On the other hand, i played with dolls and never minded wearing dresses.
I have always liked clothes and make up, but ran away from pink even as a kid. When I got into my teens, at the height of the 60's I became somewhat wild and i am glad I did! I also became pragmatic, assertive, etc. Liking girl stuff and being assertive are not necessarily incompatible. I have been told at work many times that I "think like a man." Huh? I guess that's what allowed me to segment my life, never feel guilty about working with young kids, or to be open and honest with everyone. I don't have any daughters, but I do have two of the least sexist young adult sons around. Of course it helped to have a husband who instilled these values, along with me.

[SlowButSteady]

Before this thread, I hadn't heard this term or thought about it in years.

It certainly was applied to me often enough. My mother has always said I had "gender identification issues."

I'm more tomboyish than my husband and my son put together!

[DirtDiva]

Back to the original question...

I teach 10-12 year-olds, and in my class I have three girls who could be considered "tomboys": the girl with short hair and boys clothes, the girl who hates anything "girly" purely and simply because it tends not to be sports, the girl who has friends who are boys. Never once have I heard the word "tomboy" applied to any of them, so I think to kids it is an outdated word at least.

[RoadRaven]

Road Raven, thanks for the wonderful song. I never heard of it, but the words are wonderful.

So glad you like it. I use it with my students when we are discussing gender issues and how "hidden" assumptions are so taken for granted...
Here's Dar's home page. You should be able to find a soundbyte there

http://www.darwilliams.com/

I couldn't get her music in NZ when this came out. We found her by 'chance'.

My partner and I have both been fans of Joan Baez, who (as well as her own songs) has made a point of singing songs by "unknown" artists. So when we hear Joan sing something we like, we research the songwriter.

Thats how we found Richard Shindell... and via him we found Dar Williams and Lucy Kaplansky... all of whom we have had to import to our CD shelves as local shops do not stock their music.