ROFLMAO so I just had to share my story after this:

My ex-racer buddy had a pair of shorts that were long past decent and wore them on a fun ride once where I just razzed him no end about his shorts being so sheer!

so the Next fun ride with him in a pair of more "dense" shorts as I was laboring up this very steep hill-----here he comes coasting by me with his shorts pulled down around his knees! I thought I was gonna wreck the bike! when I asked him what the heck he was doing he told me that was in case I missed those old sheer shorts!!