Touring the U.S. Male

[Trek420]

Imagine our reaction if it were a man who posted video of teenaged girls and made comments about their sexuality.

[maillotpois]

I did not get references to homosexuality out of that video - and I'm sure that wasn't the intention. These were clearly all a bunch of "dudes" handing out and being "cool" - too "cool" for a real handshake. There was definitely some poking fun at priorities, etc. Maybe it's easier (and less tasteless) for cool dudes to blatantly ogle the hot car than the pretty girl. I'm frankly okay with that. It was all very lighthearted, and the Margaret Mead allusions were funny.

I'm hoping that this commotion over something intended to be completely innocent hasn't driven away a very creative and fun to read poster.

[mimitabby]

nah, I think Pardes is way bigger than that. She'll be back, at least I hope so.

[snapdragen]

I'm hoping that this commotion over something intended to be completely innocent hasn't driven away a very creative and fun to read poster.

I missed the video dammit. Color me disappointed on many levels.

+ a zillion MP, but it wouldn't be the first time now, would it.

[Trek420]

I did not get references to homosexuality out of that video - and I'm sure that wasn't the intention.

I did and frankly I was shocked and insulted. But I'm an adult and can deal with it. When I saw that the comments about their "girly" handshakes were about boys I felt incensed, angry and more important protective..

As a fellow artist I realize sometimes one does not think these things through. It's like the corporate identity project I once did with the shirt design and the logo is right smack on the bQQbs. Oooopsie.

So I hope she will return, and continue to post and create.

[Tri Girl]

Geez, I sure missed something I suppose.

I just hope Pardes comes back to tell us more about her adventures. We've enjoyed them so much so far. I can't imagine that she would intentionally be offensive. Her other posts have always been so poetic and interesting- very artistic. We all make mistakes- it's how we become who we are.
Come back, Pardes.

[pardes]

Actually the video was an experiment in perception.

I removed it from TE when I realized I didn't have a model release from "Black Shirt." I have model releases in my camera bag but it started raining while I was filming and I forgot about them.

I will be going back to the barber shop to get a signed released, and now that the video is done, to show it to Black Shirt. Hopefully by then I'll know his first name and to confirm as I thought that he is not a teenager. I will also very much enjoy the conversation I will have with him about the video and life in general.

I also want to tell him how very charming I thought him to be and how much he reminded me of the young men of my youth.

Editorial comment added to a video is covered by the first amendment as long as it does not reveal private information about a subject. (unless of course they are public figures and then all bets are off.)

The video showed young men in one particular moment of their life to be more interested in a hot car than a preetty girl walking by. Stop the presses! Now there's some information we never knew.

The video also played on the preconceived notions of the viewpoint character, a 62 year old woman past her prime observing these things and trying to formulate concepts about the differences in the sexes. In her cases, she opted out for the standard patter of "boys will be boys and girls will be girls."

As the videographer, that was my aim... to demonstrate how easy it is to gloss over the reality of a situation, to dismiss something as merely amusing and to not examine the characters as individuals.

One of the few people who viewed the video made the same mistake and assumed it was gay-bashing, insulting to males and females, and downright offensive.

Others who didn't see the video agreed that it must be a terrible violation on several areas. Hearsay rules.

I'm fairly astonished by this. There seems to be a lot more energy in the claims about and against the video than are warranted by the video or the number of people who saw it.

It never occured to me in a million years that the sweet Black Shirt or his friend White Shirt were gay. Why would anyone assume they were? Because one of them was a hairdresser? Because, during one 3 minute time period in their life they weren't particularly interested in eyeing girls and were more interested in talking to one another and ooohhh and ahhhhing over a friend's new car? Now who is making broad sweeping assumptions without the facts being in evidence?

Whether or not the video should be considered editorial, creative, artistic, or just a bad piece of video is a personal matter between videographer and viewer.

I am extremely curious about the world and the people populating it. I am fascinated with untested views and opinions I've held in my life and wish to examine them for validity. I do this with writing, photography, personal observation, contemplation, and talking to everyone I meet.

I only have a few decades left to accomplish this. It's an grand aventure and experiment.

It's an experiment that will be full of failures as well as successes.

The video, the story behind the video, the visit to Black Shirt will be posted on my blog....unless of course, in the meantime soemthing more interesting captures my attention.

[KnottedYet]

Pardes, in your blog you mention wanting to take a picture of a young woman, but not doing so because you thought it would be an invasion of her privacy.

Twice now you have posted pictures and stories of unsuspecting and unconsenting teenaged boys. Perhaps you would consider the privacy of the boy crying for help at the bus stop and of the boys standing out side the barbershop to be just as valuable in the future.

It isn't "gay-bashing", and no-one thought they were gay; it's privacy of these innocents that is the issue.

[pardes]

Let's drop this thread. It's not appropriate for TE. If anyone wishes to continue the discussion, send an email.

[blueskies]

Perhaps you would consider the privacy of the boy crying for help at the bus stop ...

Pardes,

Your stories & photos are wonderful. I also think that if they are posted on TE, then they are an appropriate topic for respectful discussion. I agree with KnottedYet that we shouldn't post pictures of children/teens online without permission from both the subjects & their parents.

I thought your story about the young person at the bus stop captured a moment that was unexpected, tender, & moving, but that I was uncomfortable with his picture being posted with the story online. Unless, of course, he gave you his permission. (This wasn't clear to me from your post.) And, personally, I would feel the same way even if he was over 18. I'd feel the same way if it were me at that bus stop, and I'm decades past 18.

You show that you have the sensitivity to be aware of the possible desire for privacy in vulnerable moments, because you wrote that you looked away to give him some privacy. Why not, in cases like this, let your words tell the story? Or use your visual gifts to take a picture that doesn't compromise a person's privacy? Again, if he did give you permission, then all is good.

I think about this myself, because I often take photos when I ride. On recovery days, I ride on a multi-use trail where I see & talk to all sorts of people. Early on, I would sometimes take pictures of children that I saw or spoke to, but I decided that it wasn't something that I should do... unless it was from a distant & unidentifiable view point. That's my own sensibility & I've felt a little sad not to capture some delightful or comic encounters, but it's what seems right to me.

And with everyone else, I hope this conversation doesn't discourage you from further participation here on the TE forums.

Blueskies

[Tuckervill]

I didn't see the video, and I fall on the side of...if you don't want be recorded doing something you're not proud of, don't do it in public where it can be openly recorded.

I hope you stick around, Pardes. And send me the video! I want to see it!

Karen

[pardes]

After working a few very long days, I am taking Friday and Monday off to play.

There are two major things on my vacation agenda list:

1. interview Blackshirt and film a video about the video.
2. SHOP FOR A MOUNTAIN BIKE!!!!!!!!

How convenient that these two things will take place within a block of one another AND across the street from Cold Stone Creamery.

Actually the whole concept of Cold Stone is a little silly to me. I want virgin chocolate ice cream. "NOOOOO please don't mess with it!!! Don't add anything. Don't flop it around on a granite slab. Just HAND IT OVER!"