as for $$, don't think about it or you'll never do it. I mean, you should be prepared that kids cost money,and be committed to raising them, but that shouldn't' be the determining factor. The media spouted figures on what it cost to raise a kid these days are BS if you ask me.

There are tons of support services out there for adoptive parents. I think for a child to be loved and wanted by their parents is awesome: there are too many throwaway kids being born these days. If you feel like you have love to give, go for it. Once you have the kid, you'll be surprised how easy it is to network with other parents.

One analogy about kids that I thought was great... when there are two of you, think of it like two candles. When you add a kid, add a candle. More light, more love, for those who think that having a kid will take away from the amount of love to go around.

Be secure in yourself and your partnership... kids are not a fix for a relationship that is in trouble, or for filling an emotional hole.

I'm a fan of closed adoptions. I think that keeping the birth mother in the picture is not in the best interest of the child and creates confusion. This is not to say they can't seek out origins at an appropritae stage of maturity. Just my opinion.

Irulan, mom of two, one leaves for college in 3 weeks.