I've learned to avoid conversataion with one particular lady at the bus stop.

Pardes: "Number 33 hasn't come yet, has it?"

Lady: (silence followed by a shrug of left shoulder)

Pardes: "Then it's really late."

Lady: (silence followed by shrug of right shoulder)

Pardes (silence followed by shrug of both shoulders)

Okay, so she doesn't want to chat.....ever.....under any circumstances....

It went like this for two weeks. Silence. No words, no shrugs, not even a nod.

Then this morning I pull up on the bike and prepare for the silence.

Lady: "My Mama needs a bike like that. 'Stead of sitting around at home all the time."

Pardes "Does Mama know she NEEDS a bike? Does she WANT a bike?"

Lady (shrugs both shoulders and lets out a small giggle) Mama don't knonw what she wants."

She then interrogates me about the bike, biking in general, the physical benefits of biking, the problems encountered with bus/biking. Walter Kronkite would have been awed by the amount of information she mined in a mere 3 minutes.

Lady (her cell phone rings) "Baby Sister? Girl, I gotta tell you about this woman and her bike...." She then proceeds to relay all the pivotal information but stumbles at one point. "Oh, I'd say she's about....ummm...should I axe her?"

Pardes "62," I say before she articulates the question. "Soon to be 63."

Lady "She's 62, just like Mama! And you should SEE her bike....why it's even better than the one Junior has and you know Junior...he only buys the best. And you know what girlfriend....she won't even let anyone help her put it on the bus rack. Feisty just like Mama is. And she said she lost 25 pounds in the last two months just from biking to the bus stop and grocery store. Yes, Ma'am, Baby Sister, we gotta get Mama a bike....."


Can't you just hear the conversation that Lady and Baby Sister must have had with Mama? Poor Mama. All she wants to do is watch her soaps and pat her grandkids....and wonder what wild scheme her kids have cooked up for her now.