words that make you grit your teeth

[Dianyla]

"Maiden"?
When I encounter a form that asks for a maiden name I scratch out 'maiden' and replace it with 'birth'

The other one that really gets me?

"Ladies". It's not quite as bad as "Laydeezzzzz" but it's getting there. I know some people (mostly men, sometimes women) are just trying to be polite, but I find it degrading. I usually give them a deadpan stare and reply "I'm not a lady."

The best part is that now I've got several coworkers trained. They'll come over to my workspace (which is, curiously, where all of the females in our mostly male department are all clustered together) and say "Hey, Ladies? (And Diane?)"

[ikkin]

wow, long thread. haven't read the whole thing, so i'm not sure if this has been mentioned before, but i hate the whole "if you will..." thing. especially when used relentlessly in the cube farm.

"i went to the store to get broccolli, if you will..."

if i will what???!! it means nothing. arrggh!!!

[bmccasland]

How about starting with... "can I ask you a question?" then ask the actual question. What if I say NO to question #1?

If you need my attention, and have a question, how about starting with Excuse Me, where/what/how .....?

I have been known to answer Can I ask you a question?, with No. Then ask why do you use that leading phrase? Just ask the question! (and the voice in my head is phasing it a bit differently and less polite. Bad voice bad bad voice).

[bmccasland]

I suppose I grew up hearing my biological father referred to as my "natural" father. As Mom remarried when I was a toddler, my "real" Dad to me is legally my Step-Dad - as he's the one who was tangible.

The "biological" reference is a more recent bit of nomenclature, and I agree, it's usually in the context as a sperm-bank doner or a dead-beat dad. Genetics is the only relationship.

To me, my "father" was the man who died in 1959. My "Dad" is the one who taught me to ride a bike.

Can I ask you a question....?

[emily_in_nc]

Can I ask you a question....?

I have a co-worker who, if you ask him that, always replies:

"You already did."

I love it.

I try to remember never to approach him with that question...!

[7rider]

How about starting with... "can I ask you a question?" then ask the actual question. What if I say NO to question #1?

Sure. You "can." But you MAY not!

[Zen]

How about starting with... "can I ask you a question?" then ask the actual question. What if I say NO to question #1?

If you need my attention, and have a question, how about starting with Excuse Me, where/what/how .....?

"Quick question" really bugs me.
It's obviously a question and usually not quick.