Grrr....

[solobiker]

Well, if it's any consolation, I think your professions are very interesting and well-rounded. I'd like to say something nasty about uptight persons, but I guess they have their reasons. It's easy enough for you to not go again. It sounds like it's their loss!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

I agree with the above. Some people live in their own little worlds and are intimidated with anything outside of their "norm". They will often block people out of their groups or try to isolate others. I say don't worry about it and just know, as LBTC said, it is their loss.

[pardes]

It's probably a self-concept issue with these women who guard their group from interlopers. Your resume is truly amazing and wonderful and it probably blew them out of the water.

People are always worth a second chance in my opinion. Offer them a free bellydancing lesson sometime. The more horrified they are about that and sex therapy, the more they need someone to tease them out of their obsessive attitude.

Just a thought. I grew up in the south and ran the gauntlet through a few groups like that. But man oh man, once they opened up and relaxed there were no better friends. I found myself a tangential "member" of some rather extremist groups and the diversity did more for me than anyone.

On the other hand, if they were real stinkers and rude to you, you don't have to turn the other cheek. It's just that in situations like that I think everyone loses. They lose your sparkling and very funny personality and energy and you lose an opportunity to practice compassion.

Well, okay, I did draw the line at the fundamentalist snake-handling church. They didn't understand me when I asked them if they had bothered to ask the snakes if they WANTED to dance. (It was my Zen period in the sixties where....FAR OUT....everything is a sentient being....Ohhhhmmmmmmm". I was politely asked to leave although they did insist that I still sing Alto for a member's funeral who died from snakebite.

I passed on the singing. We all have our limits.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

It's possible they thought you were getting a kick out of purposely trying to provoke them.

Maybe you could start your own mom's group with like-minded women?

[KnottedYet]

Do you know about Hip Mama? http://www.hipmama.com/

They have meet ups, and there might be one near you: http://hipmama.meetup.com/

There used to be a message board (kinda like this one) that I clung to for dear life for a while, but I can't find it.

[Natural Beauty]

LOL...I'm sorry. But when I read your post I thought. "What a stupid thing for them to say about being a Vet!" "How RUDE and IGNORANT"

Then I read the part about you being a passion consultant and maybe they were just afraid of your good advice....This was a moms group right? maybe they didn't want any more kids....pregnancy is in the water you know.

[Irulan]

Sometimes you have to shop around for a group that feels right. Just because a group of women have kids the same age doesn't mean you'll have common values or interests.

I've found parent cooperatives preschools are a great way to meet moms. Theses are usually run by adult education, at least in the two cities I did this kind of program. It beat the heck out of the lap swimming mommies I was a part of - they kicked me out because my baby was fussy-, or the officially organized M.O.M.S group I checked out that was incredibly unsupportive and *****y and downright nasty if you weren't in the same room.

I suppose it would go against a professional image to say, "what's the face about, haven't you had a really great orgasm lately?"

I was a in home lingerie sales person for many years - I tended to not let that out of the bag right away just because people are so weird sometimes.

[Crankin]

A subject dear to my heart...
I had a very negative attitude toward anything "Mommy and Me." When I had my first son, I was teaching and many of the other teachers also had babies. Baby talk everywhere. So, after I had registered to take 2 English classes at ASU during summer school, arranged for day care, I got a thing in the mail from the JCC about a class for moms and toddlers. I don't know what possessed me, but I dropped the grad classes and took my kid to the group. There were like 25 women and their babies there. They also had a play group and a couples group. I started on a journey of all things toddler for 2 months! They broke me down. Everyone was nice, though much too obsessed with their kids. They thought I was weird because I dragged my kid to the gym with me to do aerobics everyday. A couple of months later, when I announced pregnancy #2 someone said," Oh, you're going to quit your job now, right?"
Like h*ll I was.
But, 25 years later and a move across the country, I still consider 3 of these people some of my closest friends. I might not see them for a year or two, but when I go back to Tempe, I slip right in and it's like I never left. Our kids have grown up remarkably similar, despite the distance.
My advice is find a group that you have something in common with and ignore the judgmental ones. I know that I never was able to "fit in" with any of my neighbors, because they were the same uptight, prudish types of moms you describe.

[mudmucker]

Pardes, I believe you just joined this forum. I so love your attitude.

Well, okay, I did draw the line at the fundamentalist snake-handling church. They didn't understand me when I asked them if they had bothered to ask the snakes if they WANTED to dance. (It was my Zen period in the sixties where....FAR OUT....everything is a sentient being....Ohhhhmmmmmmm". I was politely asked to leave although they did insist that I still sing Alto for a member's funeral who died from snakebite.

I passed on the singing. We all have our limits.

You are too funny.

[TahoeDirtGirl]

This brings up something I have been struggling with, how do you just find friends in general? I've been struggling on the east coast trying to find likeminded friends but I am not finding any. I read once that when you move somewhere new, it takes 3 years to find friends. When I meet people here I find that I get this air of disbelief on all the things I have done with my life. Why is that??

There are a couple of mtn biking 'groups' that I'm thinking of meeting up with, they are kind of far away, but at least meeting people that will understand why I like to ride for hours on end might be a start

My vote is to start your own Mommy group. BTW I think they were jealous of you, that's why they got up and left

[Becky]

This brings up something I have been struggling with, how do you just find friends in general? I've been struggling on the east coast trying to find likeminded friends but I am not finding any. I read once that when you move somewhere new, it takes 3 years to find friends. When I meet people here I find that I get this air of disbelief on all the things I have done with my life. Why is that??

There are a couple of mtn biking 'groups' that I'm thinking of meeting up with, they are kind of far away, but at least meeting people that will understand why I like to ride for hours on end might be a start

My vote is to start your own Mommy group. BTW I think they were jealous of you, that's why they got up and left

+1 gajillion! I'm slowly making friends (even though I've lived here for 10 years now)....strangely enough, most of them seem to be people i've met through my part-time job and volunteer activities. DH and I have decided that we just don't have an East Coast mindset, and would probably fit in better out west....someday.