Dear So and So

[Tiffany]

Dear Tiffany,

Old Navy is bringing back the frisbee. It will be in stores sometime this month.

Signed,
frisbee crazed german shedder

Dear Frisbee Crazed German Shedder,

There is a God afterall.

Signed,
Emmitt, the frisbee loving Border Collie

[ikkin]

Dear Maya the Dog,

You are with us now. We will take care of everything. There is no need to put your hackles up when people are walking down the opposite side of the street. There is no need to bark and charge the door like a wolverine when people come a-visiting. There is no need to startle and whip your head around at the smallest sounds. We know you more practice, but in the meantime, feel free to open your mouth every once in awhile. You can do the doggie smile. You can relax. We promise we won't let anything bad happen to you or to us.

Love,
Mom and Dad

[OakLeaf]

Dear Surgeon,

If you don't think I can handle the results of my biopsy without a personal call from you, how in the world do you think I gave informed consent to the procedure? Just wondering.

P.S. Do you plan to call me any time soon? Because I'm making an appointment with Medical Records. I have a right to my pathology report under State law.

[emily_in_nc]

Oakleaf,

I am hoping that no news is good news...please keep us posted. I can imagine how frustrating it is having to wait for your results.

[milkbone]

Dear Ex-Boyfriend,

You must really think you are the best thing since sliced bread, to treat me the way you did over the past few months and expect me to sit silently and be walked on like a doormat.

You made yourself part of a family for over two years, then one day decided you were "bored". Well, I will have you know you and your long winded stories about work and how everyone else is wrong but you, definetly weren't anything close to what I'd call exciting.

I don't deserve to be treated like a doormat, and my boys definetly didn't deserve you to just walk out with no explanation (leaving them to believe it was something they did), and oh what a "stand up kindof guy" you were when I told you what they were saying. Of course, you ignored my comments like they didn't exist.

Yes, we did try to work things out over the past couple of months, but I refuse to be treated like I'm only wanted when you have nothing better to occupy you. I will not be rejected because you have "dirty dishes to clean" and be ok with it. You reap what you sow, and I'm a firm believer in karma, and for you - it seems to already be started (hence, the loud annoying neighbors...among other things).

I deserve to be treated a heck of a lot better. One day you will realize what you walked out on, a loyal and caring companion, two wonderful boys, and you had a life any man would have dreamed of. A girlfriend who payed all the big bills, did the laundry, the cleaning, errands, mowed the yard all on the days you worked, so all you had to do when you got home was...oh nothing. Maybe thats where I went wrong, I made it way too easy on you. Now you can do your own laundry, clean up after yourself, and mow your own yard (whenever you get a mower, since you won't be borrowing mine again).

I will not be a doormat, and I will not sit silently and be walked on. I'm sure you have a long line of girls wanting to go out with a short, pudgy, hairy, small man like yourself, because I'm sure at dinner they will want their ears to be chewed to pieces about you talking about yourself and how great you THINK you are.

Sincerely,

Your better-off-without-you ex-girlfriend


---- Sorry, about the long post, felt good to vent though