New bike for my 16th birthday... many things yet to be resolved.

[VeloVT]

It sure goes fast but my lower back is intolerably sore after the first mile ( I think I need the handle bars a little closer so that isnt a huge concern) my hands feel cramped and strained right from the start (yet again due to stretching too far to reach the brakes) and I think he got me a unisex saddle, but it such doesnt feel too great on my more feminine parts.

Sounds like you need some position tweaking. Have your dad put the bike up on a trainer and watch you while you pedal. Then it will be easy to evaluate adjustments both from a subjective perspective (how it feels to you) and an objective persepective (how you look on the bike, to him). Usually how it feels should take priority over how it looks, but if you are very new to cycling your body may have to get used to how the position feels. It would be useful to have a variety of stems (with different lengths and rises) and some spacers on hand if that is feasible.

If your back is sore after only one mile, I wonder if part of it may be a conditioning issue as well. I have ridden bikes that were too big or improperly set up before and I would get back pain after 20-30 miles, but if I were to take, say, a 10 mile ride, I wouldn't actually hurt (though I might notice the position being less than comfortable). Core-strengthening exercises might be helpful.

Your hand soreness may also be a matter of getting used to your position. Tightness or tension in the shoulders can cause hand soreness pretty quickly, believe it or not, so if you are not relaxed, that can itself cause hand pain. Check in every couple of minutes or miles and make sure you aren't locking your arms or carrying tension in your neck/shoulders. Do a few shoulder rolls and consciously relax your shoulders -- ideally, rather than feeling like your arms are holding up your body, you want to feel more like your arms are hanging between your shoulders and your hands (of course this isn't literally true, and in some situations, such as climbing or sprinting, you will actively be using your upper body, but imagine how that would feel). Your shoulders should be down, away from your ears , and your shoulder blades should be farther apart rather than closer together (they way they feel if you are standing up and bend over at the waist, and just let your arms hang down, pulled by gravity).

Also, if you have small hands, it may be a good idea to look into shimming your brake levers to bring them closer to the bars, so your fingers don't have to stretch as far.

As for saddles... yeah, Bontrager saddles are not comfortable. Other than that though, sadly, it's a matter of trial and error. Most people go through a couple of saddles before they find one they like. And everyone has different anatomy and different preferences, so what works for one person may not work for another. I personally cannot ride cutout saddles, they cause more issues for me than they relieve, but many people cannot ride WITHOUT a cutout -- the only way to know what works for you is to try. Things to pay attention to when looking at saddles:

1) Cutout vs no cutout
2) width -- if you have wider sitbones, you will likely need a wider saddle (most bike shops, and any that carry Bontrager or Specialized saddles, will have a gadget to measure your sit bones). For a long time I thought the emphasis on sitbone width was hype, since I have wide hips and prefer a narrow (~130mm) saddle, but then I actually measured my sitbones and it turns out that they are like 125 center to center -- so I'm buying the sitbone argument again. Apparently hip width does not correlate well with sitbone width .
3) shape -- many women here distinguish between "t-shaped saddles" (wide back, very narrow nose) and "pear-shaped saddles" (more gradual transition from nose to back). Depending on your individual anatomy, you will likely prefer one to the other. Many women seem to prefer a more t-shaped saddle, though I actually prefer a more pear shaped saddle... again, you just have to try.
4) top contour -- some saddles are very flat, tip to tail, while others have varying degrees of scoop/contour (for example, Fizik Arione is pretty flat, while Fizik Aliante is contoured). Again, you will probably tend to prefer one over the other.
5) firmness/softness

Good luck! Sounds like you have a sweet bike!